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Original poster

My sister announced her first pregnancy tonight. I am pleased for her, but a little envious too & not sure why!

34 replies

sillysister · 20/12/2008 21:30

Have 2 children of my own who are both at school now. They are handful enough for me, so why did I find myself feeling a little envious when my sister sprung the unexpected news that she was 3 months pregnant with her first child. I was of course happy for them & am excited about becoming an auntie for the first time, but part of me feels a bit jealous. I guess it is because it is all so exciting at this stage & the whole family are buzzing with it. She was looking at prams & mum was making copies of her scan picture on the pc & it was all exciting. I am a single mum & struggle with the two I have, so can't be broody myself. I don't understand the reason for these feelings of envy & feel terrible for having them. I showed nothing but excitement when around my family though.
Has anyone experienced similar feelings at a time like this? I have name changed because I am so ashamed!

OP posts:

Bauble99 · 20/12/2008 21:33

Don't be ashamed.

I think I'll still feel a tinge of even when I'm 80.

FiveDollarShake · 20/12/2008 21:38

Dont feel ashamed....I've felt like this before. Ive never really understood why though. I suppose its a magical time isnt it your first pregnancy...all the excitement, anticipation. Whenever I get to feeling like this I ask myself what have I got to feel jealous about? Labour? Stitches? Sleepless nights? Engorged painful boob? It makes me feel better anyway.

MrsSanta · 20/12/2008 21:39

Silly dont be ashamed,
but I am like you to. would secretly love another dc. (have 2 dd7 and ds3) dh deffinately doesn't want anymore.

I suppose it just brings back all the memories of when our own dc were growning/born. How lovely.

TheSeriousSanta · 20/12/2008 21:43

Oh, you are just being like any one...

It's the innocence, IMHO, those early days where it's all new, and vunerable and raw...

I don't think there is anything like having a newborn baby... Oh, all the hard stuff and the lack of sleep and the pain and the growing up...

But nothing can beat that first feeling...

You will make a lovely auntie

Original poster

sillysister · 20/12/2008 21:45

I think that's it, it is all so exciting at this stage...seeing her scan photo & hearing all about how the baby was moving about on the screen, seeing everyone so excited etc. For a minute I actually thought "Ohhh, I want another baby!" I don't think I seriously do though as my two drive me to distraction as it is!

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 20/12/2008 21:47

Just think fast forward 6 months, the sleepless nights, the endless round of feeding winding and trying to get a baby to sleep when you have no idea what you're doing and you've had no sleep yourself, the insecurity of being a first time mother, the sheer fear at every cough and splutter. Being an aunty is the best of both worlds, you get to cuddle a lovely newborn and then hand back and go home to a lovely 10 hour uninterrupted sleep

Original poster

sillysister · 20/12/2008 21:49

Very true, HF!

OP posts:

twinsetiscrapatflouncing · 20/12/2008 21:50

God if my sister announced she was pregnant I would scratch her eyes out, a little jealousy is nothing. As long as you are happy for her as well which I am sure you are

HeadFairy · 20/12/2008 21:54

Having said that I'm lucky my sister is older and is definitely not having any more. I can see how hard it is though. I'm ttc at the moment, but a little part of me shudders at the thought of doing those first few months again and I had a dream baby. Your poor sis has got all that to come, but congratulations for her anyway Let her enjoy her moment in the sunshine, it'll be perishing dark when she's living on 3 hours sleep and her nipples are cracked and throbbing.

Original poster

sillysister · 20/12/2008 21:58

Oh yes I am very happy for her & only showed excitement when she told me (mixed with a little shock as I SO didn't see it coming!), but inside of me was this jealousy that I couldn't explain to myself.

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 20/12/2008 21:59

Aw, tis natural. Mother nature's way of keeping the species alive, I'll still be feeling broody when I'm well past it I'm sure!

TheSeriousSanta · 20/12/2008 22:00

Oh, god,l the PAIN of cracked nipples...

I remember those first few feeds with the alien baby and just being in agony.

It's love at first sight though, isn't it? From the first second, I could pick MY baby out in the nursery in an instance...

I'm lucky that I had a lovely birth and hospital stay but those first early days will stay with me always... My tiny, tiny, alien looking baby and he was so bloosy perfect in every way.

TheSeriousSanta · 20/12/2008 22:01

bloody I can't even SWEAR!!!

HeadFairy · 20/12/2008 22:03

I remember our first dinner the night we brough ds home. he slept like an angel in his moses basket in the living room while we had a takeaway and a beer. Oh how we chuckled to ourselves about people saying babies ruin your lives, that they're so exhausting, here we were having a takeaway and a beer, uninterrupted. I think that was the last hot meal I ate with both hands for about... oh 5 months From then on it was cold congealed food eaten on my lap with one hand (dh had to chop it all up) as ds used to cluster feed from 6pm to midnight without pausing to take breath!

TheSeriousSanta · 20/12/2008 22:06

at Headfairy.

I had DS at The Portland and DH stayed with me one night... When dinner was served, the nurse came to take DS away to the nursery so we could enjoy our dinner in peace... I was so

I had to specially ask for him to be with me the last night I was there, and explained that I didn't have a fully staffed nursery at home so would have to get used to it.

7 months on, and I'm getting used to judging DS's reach and making sure there is nothing contraband in his grasp.

He especially loves knives, glasses and marker pens.

I am doomed aren't I?

But (like OP) I still would like another one!!!!!

HeadFairy · 20/12/2008 22:10

all babies reject soft toys and rattles for knives and all manner of dangerous playthings. They're insanely drawn to them!

I'm a bit of the Portland, I was in St Georges in Tooting and while the car was brill the postnatal ward was a bit grim.

TheSeriousSanta · 20/12/2008 22:18

Sorry, Headfairy, I have nothing but lovely things to say about the Portland.

It was fab from start to finish (so much so, I was sue to come out on Monday (had DS on Sat) that I stayed till Wednesday)

it was so very lovely.

Pantofino · 20/12/2008 22:19

I cry at all the birth threads on here. My sister has 3 but her dh has now had the snip so i no longer expect these kind of announcements. Part of me longs to be PG again. The other part of me thinks about what Headfairy said

TheSeriousSanta · 20/12/2008 22:19

due - what is it with my typing tonight????

And, why do babies seem to know what they aren't allowed to have?????

lalalonglegs · 20/12/2008 22:20

Maybe you're worried that your parents will start giving your dc less attention now that there is a new baby on the scene and your children will become less "special" within the family hierarchy.

Original poster

sillysister · 20/12/2008 22:21

Same here! The logical side of my brain can list reason after reason why it would be a nightmare, but the illogical side of my brain thinks "Oh but I need another baby!"

OP posts:

Original poster

sillysister · 20/12/2008 22:23

I think that may be a little behind some of it too, lalalonglegs, especially if my sister has a girl as mum craves a grandaughter.

OP posts:

Original poster

sillysister · 20/12/2008 22:25

I am mostly happy for my sister though. I would never admit to feeling this way to anyone in RL!

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 20/12/2008 22:26

Damn serioussanta, I was hoping you were going to say it got terribly tiresome having someone bring you lovely food to your private room and that the peace and quiet was really quite irksome My three days on a post natal ward with screaming babies all around was so delightful

Pantofino · 20/12/2008 22:32

Headfairy, now you've made me think of the 2 weeks I spent on the Ante Natal ward in the QEQM in Margate, including the infamous Valentine's Night when they apparently ran out of G&A Ooh the screams! I was so glad I was booked for CS. They tell me that here in Belgium it is Epidural or nothing. I'll be sticking with the one then.

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