My DH and I have had problems for the last 3 years, he is very unhappy about the way I am, have gained lots of weight whilst pregnant with DS who is now 3. To tell the tale briefly, he says he no longer finds me attractive, he loves me like a sister, but not in love with me, says the sexual attraction has gone. I feel betrayed by him, feel he should love me for me, not how I look, but on his side of the fence can see that I really am not the woman physically he met and fell for. Because I receive so little affection from him, it makes me very sad and then very resentful. We have got into the habit of just biting at each other all the time. Last weekend we had another big row, he is very verbally abusive when we row telling me how awful I am an that he can't respect me when I look so dreadful etc etc, whilst I know this is way out of order, over the course of time it's destroyed my self-esteem.
He wants to give it until Summer to see if I can "sort myself out" and us work on trying to get the old us back, but until he finds my physically attractive is doesn't want any physical intimacy as he feels it will give me the wrong signals and make me think everything is okay!
I feel devastated that he could say all this, he says he feels that I don't care about him or our relationship, as if he had changed so much and I had asked him to change back he would have done it for me. He sobbed last weekend, whilst rowing, I have never seen him cry in the last 10 years.
Part of me hates him for all that he has done, and I suspect if I get back to how I was the damage in my head is monumental and perhaps too much. Do you think that we are doomed?