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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I stay in my marriage knowing I want someone else?

51 replies

thenewme · 16/12/2008 16:00

Sad
OP posts:
castlesintheair · 16/12/2008 17:21

Agree with expat.

How/why does your DH know?

thenewme · 16/12/2008 17:22

he knows we are emailing and i am sure he knows how i feel.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/12/2008 17:23

a lot of us have been in similar situations, FWIW, or are, even.

but having made the choice to marry and have a family with someone else, you put that part of you to one side and deal with it on your own because it's hurtful to your spouse and children to do otherwise.

it's not the funnest thing, but hey ho, with choices come consequences.

ClausImWorthIt · 16/12/2008 17:23

You are being self-centred and selfish.

As expat says, it is romanticism. You have moved on and married someone else, and now have children.

Stop thinking about OM, don't contact him ever and focus on the person who loves you and deserves your commitment.

ninah · 16/12/2008 17:23

agree with expat too

thenewme · 16/12/2008 17:24

I am not going to argue about whether it is romanticism or not as I know how I feel and how he feels. Irrelevant as there is only one choice to make. I thought OM was married too otherwise things might have been different.

OP posts:
castlesintheair · 16/12/2008 17:26

If you don't want anything further to happen with OM then stop all contact with him now. Don't tell your DH either. Don't offload this burden onto him. Does he really know how you feel or do you just want him to?

expatinscotland · 16/12/2008 17:26

it's different because you are married and have a family now.

regardless of the OM's situation.

if you want to keep your family, you need to be the adult and cut off contact with this other person and mean it/do it.

to do otherwise sends the message to your spouse that you're not living up to your promises.

thenewme · 16/12/2008 17:28

I would be off with OM if no one would get hurt but that doesn't happen. DH knows I am thinking about OM and I can sense me withdrawing from him. I also know that my husband is the best man in the world and I will not hurt him like this again.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/12/2008 17:29

then stop ringing him to come home early or cry or not eat, etc.

and stop contacting this other person.

sasamax · 16/12/2008 17:30

Sorry but I agree with expat. I blame fairy tales and romantic movies. It's all nonsense - true love is going through the hard times, supporting each other and generally helping each other to survive. The feeling will pass - don't torture your husband in the meantime. The grass is not greener - all those butterflies and weak knees belong to the past - you'll only be miserable when you've lost everything.
Sorry to be harsh - please don't ruin your life!

thenewme · 16/12/2008 17:31

I intend to stay with my marriage.

I don't think I need anymore telling about what an idiot I am.

OP posts:
SnowOfHands · 16/12/2008 17:32

It doesn't matter if OM is married, single, living as a woman or shagging sheep for kicks. What matters is that you are married and intend to remain that way.

Cut off all contact with OM now if you want to stay in your marriage. Treat your dh with some respect.

If you are unhappy or your life is lacking in some way, confront that as an adult. Don't dream.

Piffle · 16/12/2008 17:34

I broke up with my soul mate 10 years ago because he did not want children. I had ds1 he had a dd. I broke up with him and it nearly wiped meout as I loved him beyond words but knew I'd end up hating him.
I cut contact and moved on. Met DP lovely gorgeous kind man, Been together 8 years have 2 dc together.
The OM contacted me via facebook recently.he married and had a dc. He has left wife as he says he is still in love with me.
He said it should have been me. Can we talk?
I never replied. Because I know better.
I love DP and our family too much to even dip a proverbial toe in by replying.
Shut it away and focus on what's important

YeahBut · 16/12/2008 17:35

You are being very cruel to your DH. Doesn't matter that it's unintentional. This is really childish. If you don't want to be with your DH, leave him. Stop trying to goad him into doing the dirty work for you and stop trying to make yourself out to be helplessly trapped in a relationship.

sasamax · 16/12/2008 17:36

Well done piffle!

SnowOfHands · 16/12/2008 17:37

Oh Piffle. Well done.

LiffeyCanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 16/12/2008 17:42

Good for you piffle! He must have put you through so much, and was prepared to pick at that wound again for his own sake.

Thenewme, if you leave your husband for a fantasty, can you post him to me please! I'd love a husband who is 'kind and decent'. Thanks!

LiffeyCanSpellGeansaiNollaig · 16/12/2008 17:44

oh! and your husband is also "an amazing man". I can't wait 'til he's back on the market !!

OptimistS · 16/12/2008 18:26

thenewme, you know you're being unfair to your husband and that's why you feel so bad, so I'm not going to lecture you. It will be you who gives you the hardest time over all this, no one else. Guilt is one of the most difficult emotions to live with. I sympathise.

I think you need to do some long, hard thinking about what you want. Is there something missing from your marriage that you think you can get from this OM? If so, is there any chance you can work on your marriage to get that from your DH? If it is the OM and no one else will do, I think you need to think seriously about whether you can truly live with yourself if you stay in the marriage or leave. If you stay, you may ruin your marriage anyway. Unless you make the effort to get over OM you will destroy all intimacy in your marriage and eventually you will hurt your DC as well as your DH. IF you leave, however, there is the very real possibility of finding out that the reality is different to the fantasy, and it's possible (even if you and OM are a match made in heaven) that the guilt you would feel from leaving your DH will destroy your relationship with the OM.

In your shoes, if there is nothing actually wrong with your marriage I would choose to stay. However, this problem will raise its head again unless you work on it. That means cutting all contact with the OM, which you already know. I think it would also benefit you to go to Relate, alone. They have a lot of experience about dealing with something like this, and the fact that you would be seeking help before actually committing infidelity means there is way more hope of fixing your marriage.

Sometimes it is possible to be with a thoroughly decent husband or partner but then later discover your soul mate. It happens. It's no one's fault. You can't be condemned for your feelings. However, bearing in mind that nothing has happened with the OM and that your relationship with him cannot be that intimate (emotionally) because you're restricted to spending snatched moments with him, I think you have to accept that you simply don't know him well enough to intelligently decide that he is your soulmate. In those circumstances I think you owe it to your DH and DC to work at fixing your marriage first. If things fail to work out, at least you will suffer less guilt because you will know you have given it your best shot.

It's also worth remembering that life is about much more than romantic love. Children, friends, hobbies, even work all contribute to make us the people we are and all can give us happiness. Life doesn't have to be unbearable because love is missing. Work hard on making a good life for yourself and the pain of missing the OM will slowly fade, especially if you work on your marriage as well.

Hope you feel better soon.

stuffmyturkey · 16/12/2008 18:33

Those are good thoughts optimists. It's too easy to say "you're just being silly, grow up". Perhaps you are grown up, but people still struggle. I agree with the idea of Relate, alone. Optimist you were very articulate.

OptimistS · 16/12/2008 19:55

Thanks stuffmyturkey. . Let's hope it gives the OP something to think about to help resolve things.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2008 21:28

OptimistS's posts are always fair and articulate, I have noticed.

Also much kinder than some of the previous ones, mine included.

thenewme · 17/12/2008 12:10

Thank you OptimistS.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 17/12/2008 12:16

"Duty is the rent you pay on life"

Oh that is perfect. I have always thought that but never found a way to express it. It's also called 'being a grown-up',

Cut contact with OM. A mutual friend told you he was married because she/he thought it would be easier for you. But the fact that you are married didn't seem to bother OM and stop him from contacting you Sounds a little selfish.