Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do YOU drink??

78 replies

Toothache · 23/03/2005 22:15

I've put this in the relationship section as I think it's really about the relationship I have with alcohol.

I drink for a couple of reasons:

For fun when I'm socialising
For relaxation sitting watching TV with DH...

These reasons are fine to me, but my third reason is what worries me.

I drink to forget. Nothing specific as such, just sometimes I drink when I've had arguments with DH or my Mother (more and more these days). I don't get slaughtered, but I drink just enough to make me either forget about my troubles or gloss over them!
I don't drink every night, but throughout my life I have used alcohol as a numbing agent.... hiding from things. When I was a 17 year old I was hiding from a broken heart. As a student I was hiding from the reality of my debt.... and now??? The reality of an unhappy marriage. We are working at it and want to make it work, but as we wait for marriage counselling to get back to us with regular appointments I find myself sitting at this PC more and more evenings with a bottle of wine.

I'm not an alcoholic.... and this thread isn't really about that. I just wondered how many people out there could admit that sometimes they drink to forget... for a while. Am I in the minority? Do most people just drink a few glasses of wine to unwind or just to socialise with friends?

Or is drinking to unwind just another way of using alcohol to forget about the stresses in life??

Just thinking. Feel free to ignore... I'm a bit tipsy!

OP posts:
MABS · 24/03/2005 18:09

but you are never alone trying to move that damn table are you Custy!!??

essbee · 24/03/2005 18:36

Message withdrawn

Anteater · 24/03/2005 19:25

Agree with motherinferior about taking a break from what ever booze routines you may have, be it bubbly or beer. I joined one of those lets not drink or eat sweets threads in November and felt 20 years younger...

happymerryberries · 24/03/2005 19:35

Well, tonight it will be a couple of bottles of larger to celibrate the start of the Easter holidays. I don't drink every night, about 3 times a week. Can't remember the last time I got plastered, can't cope with the hangover. But I must confess that I can drink a bottle if we have folks round to supper, taking 4-5 hours and drinking lots of water.

I stay well withing the gov recomendations

JoolsToo · 24/03/2005 19:39

cos I've just done a 5 hour walk up Dove Crag (nr Ullswater) and I deserve it

bloody knackered I am!

Anteater · 24/03/2005 19:42

Joolstoo, why did you not call in for a bounce??

Anteater · 24/03/2005 19:42

or a drink

vict17 · 24/03/2005 19:48

must have been awsome JoolsToo I love the Lakes

moondog · 24/03/2005 21:14

'that strange guilty feeling that getting pissed gives you, even if you've done nothing wrong'.

Sponge, that's it,exactly!!! Thought it was only me!! That feeling really has got to me over the years, especially since becoming a mother!!!

expatinscotland · 24/03/2005 22:35

I feel like a horrible mum when I get pissed, for some reason. Like I'm letting dd down for doing that to my health. I never felt like that before I had her, and for a while there when I went off the rails (about a year before I had her) I was pissed EVERY night w/o fail.

velcrobott · 24/03/2005 22:39

you'll be please to hear I had 1/2 bottle of wine tonight but do not feel pxxxed at all !

expatinscotland · 24/03/2005 22:43

If I drank I'd fall asleep. I just made the Easter basket to end all Easter baskets for DD. Took bloody AGES but the effect is stunning!

JoolsToo · 24/03/2005 23:49

Anteater - if I knew where you lived I'd have called in for both! Oh the feeling when those boots came off - heaven!

vict17 - it was fab if very long and a long way up - rather blowy on top too
thanks for the link!

sallystrawberry · 24/03/2005 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juicychops · 27/03/2005 14:35

I don't drink very often only when i go out and that is no more than once every week-2 weeks. but when i do go out i drink quite a lot. i don't have much confidence and have had a s**t few years. drinking gives me confidence when im out and it also numbs pain a bit. Bad stuff from past is always on my mind and i cant seem to put it behind me!!

anonymouschap · 27/03/2005 20:28

honestly makes me sleep better

lou33 · 27/03/2005 20:31

because i like it

Rhubarb · 29/03/2005 10:48

We tried to give up for Lent, we did really well and lasted 17 days, but then someone came to visit and brought champagne (it was a bit of a celebrational event you see) and we had a glass. Dh decided that after that we might as well forgoe the rest of the Lenten period.

I drink for relaxation. When we gave up it was easier than I thought, but I missed the enjoyment of it and I missed the tipsy discussions with dh. I feel bad if I get drunk and I worry about my health if I drink too much in the week without having at least a couple of days off.

I do think I probably drink too much and I would like to stop during the week for example, but to me it is such a huge part of our social life that I feel I would be making myself miserable if I gave up. Reality always looks better through a glass of red wine!

Toothache · 31/03/2005 13:02

This thread really got going after I left. Just back from holiday....and yes I drank lots!

MeerKatsunite - I have gone 8 months without a drink before. And I don't hide what I drink. I'd say that when I'm not pregnant the most I've ever gone without a drink is a week. The most I've gone without actually getting hammered is probably a month. I don't have to have alcohol in the house either.... and as long as the bottle isn't opened it can live in my fridge for a week or so... I don't think I'm an alcoholic in the true sense of the word. But I do think I use it as an emotional crutch.

In saying that, I had a huge fall out with DH yesterday, cried and cried, but didn't open the bottle of wine in my fridge. I did think about it, but common sense and the thought of a hangover at work took over!

OP posts:
MeerkatsUnite · 31/03/2005 13:21

Toothache,

I think you've been emotionally honest to answer the questions I put to you so would like to say thank you.

Have you ever sought help re trying to stop using drink as an emotional crutch?. You don't have to answer that but you may want to consider exactly why you drink.

A lot of people do not realise that alcohol is infact a depressant.

What is your definition of an alcoholic?.

Toothache · 31/03/2005 13:30

MeersKatUnite - I suppose the 'convention' definition of an alcholic is someone that needs alcohol just to function normally in day to day life. Who also hides the amount they drink and can't really go more than a day without it or they get physical symptoms. Then that's just perahps the extreme alcoholic.

I would say I probably drink 40-50 units a week. That's not every week though. I sometimes drink just because I'm off the next day and DH and I are 'socialising' together.... or I'm sitting at my PC Mumsnetting and having a laugh.

But when something has happened to upset me I do find myself thinking "GOD I need a drink!"... that doesn't mean I do then drink.... just that it's the first thing I think about to make me feel better. When I smoked though it was "GOD I need a fag!".

I haven't had a drink now since Sunday. And probably won't drink any alcohol until Friday or Saturday night. I do think I should look at the reasons behind some of my drinking, but then again surely some of the time it's just normal socialising??

OP posts:
wild · 31/03/2005 13:34

sorry for diversion but I have not had a drink all month! that is 31 days! blimey longest dry spell since I was about 15 I bet (excluding pregnancy)

MeerkatsUnite · 31/03/2005 13:40

Hi Toothache,

Some general information:-

What Is Alcohol Abuse?

Alcohol abuse differs from alcoholism in that it does not include an extremely strong craving for alcohol, loss of control over drinking, or physical dependence. Alcohol abuse is defined as a pattern of drinking that results in one or more of the following situations within a 12-month period:

? Failure to fulfill major work, school, or home responsibilities;

? Drinking in situations that are physically dangerous, such as while driving a car or operating machinery;

? Having recurring alcohol-related legal problems, such as being arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol or for physically hurting someone while drunk; and

? Continued drinking despite having ongoing relationship problems that are caused or worsened by the drinking.

Although alcohol abuse is basically different from alcoholism, many effects of alcohol abuse are also experienced by alcoholics.

What Are the Signs of a Problem?

How can you tell whether you may have a drinking problem? Answering the following four questions can help you find out:

? Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?

? Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?

? Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?

? Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning (as an ?eye opener?) to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover?

One ?yes? answer suggests a possible alcohol problem. If you answered ?yes? to more than one question, it is highly likely that a problem exists. In either case, it is important that you see your doctor or other health care provider right away to discuss your answers to these questions. He or she can help you determine whether you have a drinking problem and, if so, recommend the best course of action.

Even if you answered ?no? to all of the above questions, if you encounter drinking-related problems with your job, relationships, health, or the law, you should seek professional help.

MeerkatsUnite · 31/03/2005 13:47

Toothache,

I think part of it is indeed socialising (a lot of people in this country do drink and not have a problem with it). However, part of it I feel with your good self is using drink to numb your feelings and to run away from your problems.

Purely in this sense I hope you come to a state of mind when you are ready to accept some form of professional help to stop using drink as an emotional crutch.

I wish you well

Toothache · 31/03/2005 16:20

MeerKatsUnite - Thanks for your advice. DH and I are on a waiting list for marriage counselling.... don't know what will come first though: Marriage Counselling or us splitting up! It's been a month since our intake counselling appointment and we've heard nothing. Ho hum.... just be patient.

OP posts: