I'm a 50 year old single mum (DD of 8) and am engaged to a lovely man who lives over 200 miles away so we only see eachother every other weekend. My DD's dad is very hands-on and lives close by and has DD a lot and she's very happy. I've known my DP for just under a year and he's planning to move and be with me in 1 to 2 years. The reason he can't move now is that he has his 18 year old son living with him a lot of the time, although the boy's mother lives closeby and has him too. She took the kids (he also has a daughter of 20 at uni) to live 200 miles away when they divorced and he travelled to see them every weekend until about 3 years ago when he decided to relocate to their area so he could be with them properly.
When I first started seeing him I thought the situation was fine and I could handle it but the longer it goes on the harder it gets. Every time we part, I feel almost bereft and it takes me days to get back into the swing of things. I know he finds it very hard too and he's said he'll be so relieved when we're together. Not only is the journey tiring (we take it in turns) but I'm finding it so emotionally draining. I love him dearly, I know he's the one for me and he feels the same but how do I manage the situation for what could be another two years? A lot of the time I feel I'm too emotionally needy and not secure enough for this type of relationship.I'd move to be with him if it wasn't for my daughter but she's still little and needs to be near her dad. Part of me feels his son is old enough now for him to move away and he could always visit regularly but DP wants to be with him until he's sorted. As the son is quite vague about what he wants to do though (currently doing A levels) I really don't know how long it's going to take. Am I being selfish in considering trying to move things along or do I just sit tight and try and be patient?