My dh has been working long hours and weekends recently. This means I look after our 2 year old 24/7. I NEVER get a break... no family to help, no friends with young children, as he was a midlife surprise and theirs are grown up. I have two older kids but they are busy too college/work and school/exams etc. I am trying to set up my own business also but my toddler is very demanding which i dont mind and i try to do alot of stuff with him. We cant afford nursery care at the moment and he is very clingy anyway.
He has been assessed as a gifted child so he needs constant attention. I do try to take him to playgroups etc, he lacks socal skills as the hv warned me he might.
I have just announced that i am going to get up earlier in the mornings to try to get ahead of myself each day while he is still asleep and dh sneered and said i won't do it. Has called me lazy.
I said that I am really tired and he said "why are you tired?" My defense was small kids can be mentally draining sometimes and I don't get a break. His reply was "well what do all the others with toddlers do, and anyway i don't come home moaning about working."
It has been vile for a while. After reading the two current threads about verbal/emotional abuse i really feel as if i am a victim. The outcome of the row tonight i have been called a wanker and a twat. I tried to stand up for myself after reading the threads and said to him that he thinks he is a better person than me, he says no i just manage things better than you can.
Last week something happened wont go into detail but basically he said that i had not asked him a particular thing, i KNOW i did and he agreed. He denied it in public and i felt so stupid. He said to me how can you be so sure you said it when you don't even know what day it is half the time.
I realise that the book recommended on the other thread lundy bancroft, i bought it a while back, then dismissed the abuse thinking it must be me , and never read more than afew pages. I am going to read it if i ever get a chance!!
It is confusing because in between the vile outbursts he can be really nice for weeks so i am confused. He goes and talks about me to my older kids and i hate that.
He is really angry as we have a night planned out with friends but i obviously dont feel like it. He will be a real charmer( women love him..v goodlooking etc) and i want to stand up and shout do you know how horrible he can be!!
I hope i can come here just to put down how i am feeling and to get support while i decide what i am going to do next. I have had this for 18 years more or less and it is only really now after reading the stuff today that i think i am ok and it might just be him