rarrrrgh! Can someone come and tell me if i am actually a grumpy old cow or if this is just normal?

[Idrankthechristmasspirits]

I hate loud noises, the tv being on loud makes me fee really twitchy and quite frustrated. (yes i know that is daft). I can't handle loud screams, i hate big crowds and enjoy my own company.

I find that i really need to have time out on my own with no tv or music etc on if i have had a weekend with the kids/partner etc.

I don't find making friends in RL easy although i am very very confident at work and outgoing.

My dp thinks i am a moody cow and also thinks i need to accept that him and the kids are not noisy but normal.

I am struggling with this, right now he is watching a film and the noise of the tv is making me really uncomfortable.
Do any of you get like this? I am beginning to think i might be a bit of a nut.

Are you me?

OK, I might not quite so extreme on the loud noises front, though the other evening I had to go and do supermarket shoping in the other room cos I couldn't concentrate with the noise of what DH was watching on telly.

I'm glad someone else says you don't make friends easily but very very confident at work. I still can't work that one out abuot me and I see DS going the same way. That makes me sad

Maybe your DP does just have the tv on too loud?

I don't like the TV on loud but don't mind noise or big crowds generally

I love time by myself... enjoy sitting in silence etc

DD2's noise level is like a drill in my head... it can really grate on me (though I am not alone in thinking this - Dp, my Mum and MIL say the same)

So I don't think you are a nut

No you're not alone. I like silence too and really appreciate the moments when the kids are in bed and the house is quiet.

Some people are loud, some people are quiet. Everyone's different. Life's usually easier if you have a partner who is the same as you in terms of noise tolerance, but looks like that's not the case in your situation. As there's not a lot you can do about that, the trick is going to be finding solutions.

First off, you need to accept that noisy is the normal state for your DP and kids. In turn, they need to accept that mummy prefers it quiet.

Kids are noisy and you can't alter that, but you can reasonably request that you are given a certain amount of time in each day, say an hour every evening, to be allowed to sit down in peace and quiet without background noise. Would it be possible for your kids and DP to facilitate this? If you can meet them halfway and be less critical about the noise when it is happening, they will soon learn that being quiet for that hour is well worth it because they get a happier mummy.

Alternatively, you could try wearing earplugs?

Thank the Lord! I have been seriously worrying that i am a horrid person who will end her days lonely and bitter.
I've been worrying about all sorts of stupid things, my "friend" at work actually decided that i have aspergers.

It is funny about the being outgoing at work as opposed to not making friends easily isn't it. I'm sure your ds will be fine though. My dd has a really good couple of friends and i think she will be ok.

You may joke about the ear plugs but i am seriously thinking about this. I can't sleep unless I have silence and unfortunately dp snores and is a mouth breather.
The idea about an hour to myself is really good actually. My job is high stress and very busy so a little time to unwind at some point in the evening would probably help a lot.

Thank you ladies, you are all wonderful.

I am the same.

I find the gym round the corner a life saver. Just go there and do my thing, have a nice sit in the sauna and shower, all with no one bothering me. could you do something like that?

Used to be the biggest party animal ever but now like you hate tv noise (top gear the worst) and still twitch if I hear DS make a noise, left over from those anxious baby days.

fucking dp has turned the tv up.... I actually feel like it is vibrating through me.

my favourite time of day used to be 5.30 am, in the garden, listening t the birds (in the summer), but zilch else.
hate loud tvs.
can sound out loud children more than the loud tv.

And reeeeelax! Am upstairs in bed now.

What is it about noise though? Why are peoples tolerance levels so different. Weekends are hell for me when we are all here and we have people turning up etc. I really need to find some sort of unobtrusive ear plugs that will turn everything down to a manageable level.

or an ipod?

have got one, the trouble is it makes noise

I am all those things. DH sends me out on my own if I am looking frazzled. I also stay up way too late just to be alone and quiet.

At in-laws they have tv on loud with subs on, fil playing guitar people talking, arrrgh my skin feels tight just thinking about it,

Nice to know i'm not alone.

Yep, you're me too.

Dh sees nothing unreasonable in simultaneously watching telly, playing a CD, having a download blaring from the computer AND playing guitar.

How I've not wrapped the guitar round his head, I'll never know...

It's not volume so much for me (in fact I'm a bit hard of hearing & have to remember to turn things down) as two or more noise inputs at the same time. Makes my head go

I'm the same - DH can' t bear to sit in a quiet room, always has TV/stereo on & rolls his eyes if i ask him to turn it down. Long car journeys are always a battle too - i feel like my eardrums are bursting while he says he can't hear - aaargh!.

Time out does help, even if it's half an hour upstairs 'sorting out the laundry'. I find it hard when we stay at in-laws sometimes - they're lovely, but do like to talk, & i feel rude if i go & hide in the bedroom for an hour.

Although i do have lots of friends, I also find it really hard to go up & make conversation with complete strangers e.g. at M & T groups, just walking in to the room can bring me out in a sweat, but at work i deal with 'strangers' everyday & have no probs with it, & have a reputation for being calm & confident - weird, isn't it

is stress a part of it do you think?

i have to be relaxed to tolerate loud noise...or a jumble of noises (like children having fun,someone nice talking to me,much loved music playing in background)otherwise i am a hissing frowning sour puss.niiice.

(slightly tangential rant...i despise the television anyway,but loud television and even louder adverts...gaaahhhh....and programmes are so so so over ''sound effect-ed''...if you stop and listen it is rid ic u lous!)

I'm terrible for this. It is guaranteed to send me potty if:

• the telly is too loud (which is not loud for other people)
• I am watching telly and I can hear music in another room
• there is any kind of distortion from a speaker
• DP plays guitar in the same room as the telly is on, even if I'm not watching it.

Worse than that, I listen to radio in the day while I'm on maternity leave. DP comes home for lunch and puts the telly on without switching the radio off.

But worst of all is if I can hear any kind of telly noise when I am in bed. I really do feel like my brain is going to explode. It's been worse in pregnancy.

I have literally just asked DP to lower the volume, and then I read him this thread. He asked me if the OP was a soon-to-drop pregnant lady.

I could really happily live without a telly.

blimey,this sounds like me,too
i'm always snarling;'can you turn the TV down..for gods' sake how loud do you need it?"
dh made noise about those surround speakers things..
my look turned him to stone

i've even told my dh and 3 kids maybe they need a hearing test..or maybe my hearing is superpower acute!

Me too - tried earplugs, but they give me ear infections which make my ears even more sensitive

Have you ever done that hyper-sensitive test thingy? NOt sure that's what it's called, I'll search for a link for you. Basically, it says that some people are born with a more sensitive central nervous system and so are more overloaded by senosry input. I'm like it too.

DO you find that you are very affected by music/art/nature etc? If I'm on the right track then you're likely to be very creative too, and so the extra-sensitivity is a GOOD thing, not moodiness at all.

(.....and the speakers are on the sides of the television in our house...SO in our open plan living area with kettles boiling and other low frequency masking type noises a go-go...to hear the television from a position seated in FRONT of teh pesky thing it has to be roaring)

[ranting hijacker's head spins off]

Ther eyou go - highly sensitive person - do the test here

yes I am another one
I have to have the TV on at least vol 14 in the sitting room if I am going upstairs to bed. Any more and I am completely on edge.

Can I take this one level further though? DH's heavy breathing which is audible over the already loud TV has driven me mad for a few years now. I feel this really must mark me as a completely nuerotic mad woman?

Did the test.

Not highly sensitive.

Simply grumpy old bag.

I used to have to go to sleep with Blu-tack in my ears when I was a teenager so I couldn't hear telly noise from the rest of my family.

bugger me! I took the test and i am apparently hyper-sensitive. I scored 24. 14 or more is indicative. Explains an awful lot about me. I am creative by the way. I play piano and violin, am about to go back to a local choir and also draw quite well. (although i hide the art stuff in the downstairs cupboard)

Heavy breathing drives me potty too. I feel your pain TCL.

Isn't it funny though, how many of us feel like this. I really honestly truely thought i'd post this and be told i was a cantankerous old moo. Turns outs we all are!

Stepford wife - I often tell dp i must have really acute hearing!

I am so relieved now. I really do feel 1000 times better.
Thanks again ladies.