Sick of DH being out EVERY night

[ChickiDee]

DH leaves the house at 8pm every night and does not come home until 4.30am. He has done this for the past few years. When I tell him to stop he doesn't and says I'm nagging. Apparantly this is why he and his ex wife divorced.

And you are still with him because?

Are you trolling?

Lock the doors. Deadbolts, chains, slip bolts the lot. And put his stuff in a bin bag outside. This is NOT acceptable behaviour in an adult supposedly in a relationship

trolling?

it's his job but I really can't stand it anymore. It's getting me down and I think I'm more or less a single parent.

Either you're serious, in which case I'd suggest he has lost his job and got a night shift to replace it, or you're not, in which case.. try serving him garlic

What's his job?

Right, he's a night worker.

Very hard on the whole family, as I understand it. No advice - sounds very tough

Sorry I am sceptical, you didn't say it was his job in your op. If it is his job and in this current climate it is lucky he has one there is not much you can do, unless he can find something during the day.

You need to sit down and explain how you are feeling.

My dh works very long hours, sometimes my dc don't see him at all, but that is how it is.

He says he's going to work. But he doesn't need to. So why does he choose to when he knows the relationship is suffering?
Even during the day we don't see each other because he has to go to bed.

This isn't making a lot of sense. What os is job? Why doesn't he need to go?

Why didn't you mention it was his job in your title & OP then? [hmm}

Why doesn't he need to?

Does he have a day job too?

Sorry my english is not great. My DH has to patrol on a night time and I work from home.

Its not really his job, he just says it is.

Patrol where?

he has to patrol the streets he says.

if it is not his job and he does not need to do it , to support the family financially and it is having a negative impact on your home life, then you need to talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel.

Patrol the streets doing what? Looking for what?

you can't make him do anything.

You can tell him how you feel. You can tell him that you can't deal with it. You can give him an ultimatum - "I can't live like this, if you can't compromise I don't see us lasting, etc etc" but at the end of the day, you can't chain him up. You can only decide what you will do. Either put up with it or don't.

However, if this is why his first marriage broke up, then plainly you knew about his night work from day 1, which begs the question - why marry him in the first place if you can't bear it? Obviously he put his night work before ONE marriage, what on earth made you think you'd be different?

And if this turns out to be a joke thread and in another 20 posts you reveal he's an escort, I will lamp you one!

What like looking for prostitutes or as a vigilante?

he is patrolling hte streets? he is either a vigilante, seeing anotehr woman or has mental health issues as lulubellarama has suggested

patrolling for what? Vampires?

Sorry, this sounds weird. If he just thinks it's his job and it's not, then what is going on here? You're being very unclear and I'm expecting a Buffy-outing any second.