So if you saw an email / text message sent to your DH which said....

[HandbagAddiction]

...."OK so you need to meet me halfway. I need to be more understanding and you need to relax more".

Can I ask what your immediate reaction would be?

to me it sounds abit close for comfort where there any x x x etc after? i wouldn't be happy and to be honest it would make me feel rubbish to
hope you get it sorted and there's a simply explanation
xxxx

sounds HIGHLY suspicious to me i'm afraid. if my DH had anything like this on his phone i would immediately think the worst but i suppose that's bcs he would never write that sort of msg to anyone but me. so far in our relationship at least! there is no way he'd write that to a colleague or friend. maybe that's just him but there is something fishy i think about that msg. call me a cynic...

...but (after a few more minutes' pondering)...maybe am just being judgmental on the basis of one person ie my own DH. maybe yours is more touchy-feely than mine and more naturally uses those sorts of phrases with people other than you, in a non-devious and wayward way!! hope so.

My main thought:
it depends on what sort of work he does. If that was sent between people I work with (lawyers ... where face & keeping it & being coolly unruffled whatever the circs is the deal) it would look ODD

If he is, hmm, a social worker, a psychologist, a teacher, caring-profession categories generally, other sorts of non-macho work, perfectly reasonable. When dh was being an occupational psychologist, this kind of thing was absolutely the sociolect of the workplace. (He ran away to some actuaries, where he can talk formulae.)

I would just ask him what it was about.

When I was a PA this could quite easily have been a text/email my boss would of sent me if we'd had a bust up at work. We were really close (although not in an unprofessional way at all!) and it could of just related to a stressy incident at work.

Just ask him about it.

I'd be deeply suspicious, and I am NOT a jealous person.

There's an old saying "people who listen at doors never hear anything good".

I am not saying he is innocent but I don't agree with reading other people's emails or texts. You may end up getting in a stew over something innocent, or you may discover something that is not what you want to know about.

If he is having an affair, you will find out sooner or later, preferably by communicating with each other.

The fact that he makes it easy for you to access his texts implies he is not guilty- or he is very careless.

Just ask him! you must know in your heart of hearts whether he is likely to stray, how good your relationship is and if this is from the OW?

That is the type of email I would send to people at work....

In fact I may borrow it tomorrow to pour oil onto a difficult situation tomorrow.

My dentist said that to me today. This is the sort of thing that can be applied to so many situations and can be taken out of context completely.

tbh the first thing i thougt when i read the e-mail was argument with work colleague

I also think it could be genuine work related EMAIL.. I would send that in an email if tehre had been an awkward situation.. I would however not have TEXT it to anybody other than when I was sleeping with my boss and that is exactly the sort of text I would have sent him and probably did.

To be honest and blunt..

affairs are 'fun' for the people involved not many would progress to the point of trying to work through issues unless they are serious.

I would have a conversation along the lines of.. oh that text ha ha if I didn't know you loved me so much I'd be a bit concerned of an affair.. laughy jokey lighthearted conversation.. then straightfaced, look straight into his eyes and tell him that if he ever did have an affair your marriage would be over there and then, smile sweetly and say, you do know that don't you dh

..preferably do all that whilst having a cuddle so you can give him a squeeze after you've said it and tell him you love him

My first thought when I read the op was tension at work and not two people who do not particularly get on, but need to try for the sake of work.

Definitely depends on the job. Dh is a HR Manager and therefore would conceivably send a message like this.

Be careful though. Many years ago (when I was younger!), I read a text on an ex-fiance's phone which said, 'Oh my god, I am so stiff'. Which I completely flipped out about (thinking it was to a female acquaintance and talking about his knob). I was actually standing in the road waiting for him, so that I could question him about it.

It had been sent to his best friend, after a workout at the gym...

Having just had a 3 way shouting match between collegues, along those exact lines, I would think it was a work situation. The first sentence is quite formal - while being an approach to compromise...doesn't sound intimate.

did you confront him handbag? hope it turns out to be nothing.

Wouldn't cross my mind to be suspicious - but maybe I'm naive!