DH just told me that he now 'sees me as a sister' :(

[WheresTheAuPair]

I've felt that we have nothing to talk about other than the kids and finally he's said his 'love for me has changed and he sees me now as a sister'. WTF? where did that come from? I feel like such a mug as am the one doing everything I can to make things run smoothly yet hadn't seen this coming. I've made jokes about us being like housemates as I see so little if him but never expected this to be a reality. Haven't had sex for months as his excuse was he didn't want to 'bring on the baby'. Now I guess the reality is its me! I know I haven't let myself go as my business relies on my looking healthy so its shattering to think that the problem is deeper than that.

Bad timing as now we have a toddler and a baby. My initial reaction was 'Fuck you i'll move out then' but then on reflection I am totally trapped and will lose either way as I don't want to be on my own with a baby and a toddler and i'd hate to be the one to break up our family over this.

There is no affection here towards me and I just don't know what i've done wrong-even a goodbye kiss is on my cheek. God how depressing. I just don't know what to do.

just tried to call him to say that there must have been a problem with the florists as I never received my flowers. but he didn't answer- am so angry i'm shaking.

Stay with us if you can love, or ring someone...if you wait till he gets in, you will be able to gauge his reaction face to face much better. I really hope this isn't as bad as it looks x

i have my best friend over- we decided to open his bank statement when it came through the post! not sure i can wait til later. have phoned him so hopefully he will call back. i'd love to hear his explanation on this.

Try not to jump to conclusions about the flowers. It could well be as bad as it looks, or it could be entirely innocent. I'm in no way defending him, but it won't do you any good to assume the worst & sit there worrying about it until he gets home. I know you can't help but speculate (& there are other issues at play here) but for the time being try to bear in mind that all may not be lost.

I hope your friend's looking after you.

I am seething for you - what a shitty way to treat your partner, only 4 weeks after having his baby...glad your friend is there, hope she is sharpening her bollock shears...

Oops, getting carried away, sorry

BitOFun- i'm sharpening mine right now!

ok explanation is that they were bought for a work colleague whose mother died 3 weeks ago..which does ring a bell somewhere in my sleep addled brain. god i am so suspicious after this weekends events. was ready to start chucking stuff out of windows. will keep an eye open now tho.

Like a hawk...

Go easy on yourself!! Having a four-week old baby is such hard work, especially with a toddler as well. It is such a demanding time, hormones all over the place etc.

I think you can get the spark back. Your sister is absolutely right, you do need to have time together, go out on a date every few weeks and just have time together. Easier said than done at the end of the day with a baby.

I think all you can do is keep communicating to each other as much as possible. Perhaps there is a bit of post-natal depression there on both sides?? It can be hard for men to separate the image of mummy and sexy-wife etc so give him time, it would be fairly normal for him to be viewing you as 'mummy' especially when your time will be so consumed with the children, are you breastfeeding? Does your H have a (image) problem with breastfeeding?

I don't think this is the END at all, just an expected 'dip' in desire as you would expect with a new baby in the house.

(((hugs))) to you, hope you can move forward together and be happy