What are the signs of a cheating DH/DP?

[Naive]

In sort of bullet point form IYSWIM.

Checking e-mails? Dodgy with phone? What else?

emotional withdrawl

new wardrobe

phone on silent

less sex

working late/away more

socialising wiht peopel you'd never heard of til recently

mentionitis of a colleague

Being so concerned that you are posting on mnet! Quite seriously, if you are going as far as to post on here, you must have enough suspicion to need to speak to him about your concerns.

Hope you are wrong BTW.

new tricks in bed

Going to gym/on diet

Personal grooming

Guilty flowers etc

Going out straight from work without phoning / or phoning with excuses.

Changes to their normal routine.

Out of the blue talking about the person they are seeing more (giving nothing away, but as if they can't hold it in).

Sudden nice behaviour towards partner, after months of bickering.

IME here's my list .. hope your wrong

finding fault in everything you do

talking about New "friends"
making late night / early morning calls.. if they didn't before

instant messengers on the net are a classic.(IME)

have less available money/ money dissapearing.

being more groomed than normal

taking showers more frequently

if your not normally a jealous person... having a nagging gut feeling.

being defensive about direct questions

Hmm a lot of these things are happening yet I'm so sure he's not cheating! It's weird. I keep thinking well the signs are there are I just being stupid? IYSWIM

Breathing in and out

what are the ones you recognize?

Have you got a big birthday/anniversary coming up? Because he could be Up To Something that will actually be a nice surprise.

Naive - are you the MNer who's getting married soon but have some concerns about your relationship?

If so, you're obviously having a hard time with this. Is there any way you can talk to your DP? It's really hard to start the conversation but maybe you could practise your opening sentence, take a deep breath and just say it - and play the rest by ear.

The problem is that some of the signs of an affair may mean nothing.
... Wanting sex less
... Wanting sex more
... Mentioning a member of the opposite sex a lot
... All of a sudden, not talking about the same person - in fact she has disappeared
... Being quite critical of you
... Constantly feeling angry - probably because you haven't noticed that something is wrong.
... A change in their appearance - could be doing more to keep fit etc.

but as said before, this is a gut-feeling thing and if you think it is happening then you need to speak to him, or check his mobile for clues (I didn't say that if anyone asks!).

My friend's ex mentionitis was a man called Michael, his new best friend - turned out she was Michelle.

Amongst symptoms I've known are getting eyes lasered/extra vanity/personal grooming.

Complete change of wardrobe.

So not really much to add to other posters.

My ex went and got his teeth sorted out. He had dragon breath and a terrible fear of the dentist and yet when OW must have said something... off he went like a goodun... got his teeth fixed etc. Something he wouldn't do for me.
Suddenly wanted new underwear and took to wearing 'ironed shirts' instead of regular T-shirt type things...
Wouldn't wear odd socks anymore...
Showered all the time, morning and night, whereas before was a real kid regarding showers...
Long work hours...
Phone business all secret...
Long Hmm hmmm phone conversations.
Lack of patience and the feeling that he's a tiger pacing to get out all the time...
Suddenly loced the Gypsy Kings music would play over and over again til the kids would cop, especially on car journeys... (later found out that was 'their music')....(imagine )...
Oooooh this has just stirred up a lot of memories for me and I have to go to the bathroom now and use his picture to arse wipe. (joking.. am over it and moved on)

kally -glad you're over it but thing I found hardest for you is the gypsy kings.

In my expereince sudden text frenzy/phone secrecy a give away

kally, I see this isn't meant to be a funny thread, but you make me larf

kally gypsy kings what a cruel twisted punishment.go get dat picture it's loo time

new clothes
sexual experimentation doggy learnt new tricks with bone
or reluctant sex
lots of furtive txt
online lots
showering++
bitty irritabile
less money
sudden talk of work collegues/busy at work

Ringing to say he isn't coming round after all, or is coming home late - excuses that sound like just that - full of bluff and not making proper sense when pushed for detail.

Ringing from strange numbers

Making excuses not to see you

mentioning someone, inviting person to social things with you (yes I know )

trying to look smarter than usual

being a bit preoccupied
drinking more

also mine would be talking to his kids about going there for dinner and I came into the room and he shushed them, it was pretty obvious something was going on.

am getting too worked up now! W*nker he was

Oh and if you can watch his eyes when you think he's lying

if he looks up to the left like he's recalling something that happened

if he glances up to his right, he's inventing something.

Yes, his (special person) was always invited to functions along with us. Actually at first I think he tried to make me and her friends... (imagine).
Would always sit and 'over include her' when with friends, dance with her a lot if we went out, etc etc... (she was separated and 'poor thing' syndrome, needed company etc)... Ugh...
But if your doubts are there and its a secretive thing, all the above mentioned by other posters are things I went through...

Sorry didn't mean to make light of it Naive, it's the most painful thing I ever went thru. It's just that now I am past and over that chasm and can look back and see how painfully stupid some of the incidents were. I was naive too.

Those old photos don't flush ...

locking self in bathroom with mobile phone
putting a pin in phone
going out more
preening self more [or so he thought]
brushing teeth more
few new jumpers
aftershave

Being a prick.

Telling me how to straighten my hair properly. [she was a hairdresser]

Oh and a new friend named "Justin".

I am with Kally, it's a life shattering experience but I have now moved on.

Mine kept popping out for things, like a can of coke from the garage or going to bottle bank at 9 at night when could have waited to weekend. And all theese little trips took longer than need be.

Not coming to bed at same time as me so he could then text.

ABloke - can I just ask please, if you are a bloke or a woman?

sorry, female.

its a confusing situation as to why I chose this name iykwim.