My mother ....................... shall I make the first move???

[mosschops30]

Went to my mums last week, she was moaning as usual (which is fair enough as shes caring for my father). I do try and be supportive but it was relentless and she was blatantly manipulating saying things like 'you obvisouly dont care about me because youre leaving early in the morning' (er no just dont want to do the 3 hour drive in rush hour traffic).

Anyway I tried to lighten the mood and said something silly and she lashed out with a comment about when I was not myself a couple of months ago, it was a cheap shot and she knew it. I packed quietly and she came in and said sorry but I wasnt ready to just kiss and make up and said so.

I left and we havent spoken since, Im still very upset and angry that she threw that back in my face and it hurt a lot. She has just paid money into my account that I owe to my father (which was planned before this), but she still hasnt made any contact.

Question is, where do I go from here??

thanks ginny, I didnt use the dublin trip to hurt her, I just didnt want to go with her, I think it would have been awful.
I dont try and out-do her in the stress-stakes, because I know you cant measure by degree and everyone is different.
Maybe we are as bad as each other I dont know, you know what they say 'like mother like daughter'

Sorry - that sounded harsh when I read it back. I didn't mean it to come across like that but I was typing in a rush as dinner was burning cooking.
Sometimes when people are alike they mirror each others behaviour and both firmly believe the other is in the wrong. Then it turns into a game of tit for tat over who has it worse.
I know I'm guilty of that with my db, we always clash because we are so alike and neither one of us will ever admit to being in the wrong.

thats fine, your post wasnt harsh at all.
Still cant see the way forward though

Have you read the Stately Homes thread.
It will either make you realise your Mum is not actually that bad compared to the Mothers on there, or you will identify with them and pick up some strategies to deal with her.
Good luck whatever you do.

whats it under ginny?

its here in the relationships section.
Called "But we took you to stately homes part 4"