never posted in here before but, need someone to talk to for advice or just for me to vent

[AMiTHEotherWOMAN]

i just had a text saying 'thought you should know dp has a 2month baby elsewhere' i text back asking who it was as i dont know the number, no reply so i rang the number and says unavailable. i rand dp and we had a massive row on the phone he says he doesnt know the number and has no other babies anywhere. but in all the shouting and screaming from me he admitted sleeping with someone last year when i was pregnant with ds so it is possible he does have another child (even though he says he used protection) and that she possibly hasnt told him? i really dont know what to do i am so angry but so upset that he would just throw away almost 5yrs and 2 children for a one night stand.
can you ever forgive them or is this the end i am such a mess i dont know what to think or do, but i am so angry i think if he walks through the door now i could do something i might regret.

When my H was trying to end his affair ....weak willed arse that he is!!!
I had plenty of anonymous calls/texts - telling me that H had chlamydia (he didnt we were both checked )....telling him that I had slept with someone (I hadnt)...
What I am trying to say is that it may not be true.........yes he is an idiot for having a one night stand/affair ...BUT this may not be true - the numbers my calls came from where never available (the OW did admit later that at least one came from her, a cheap pay as you go SIM card from Tesco that was binned once damage was done)
Just trying to say some OW can be viscious nasty cows when they feel threatened by the DW - so chin up melove talk to the twat and try to get to the bottom of it!!

can i ask are you still together after all that? and can it get back to any sort of "normality" after?
i feel angry at him though because if i hadnt got the text he would probably never have told me about his infidelity and then to just blurt it out over the phone it really hurt and shocked me actually made me feel sick.

Sorry AmI - we arent though he would like us to be
I could not get past the lies and deceit and I dont think he tried hard enough (he did indeed get the OW pregnant in the end, she was getting more and more desperate)...
But it is up to him now to prove to you what you need/want !

Thinking of you today.
Think everyone else's advice has been good.
He must know roughly who this woman is. I would text her from his phone although as macd said it could be a sim that has been thrown away or saved to be used next time she wants to get in touch with you.
Also as you said you always change your name on his phone so I would want to know how she had my number.
He needs to sort this out.
Thinking of you today.

i dont think he has done anything since and he keeps saying over that it was a one-night-stand and he cant even remember now what her name was there were no numbers exchanged and has never seen her since, he still says he has no idea who's number it is and now everytime he rings it is switched off. thank you for your thought leoleo still nothing is really resolved as he just seems to get angry when i ask him questions about the number or the one night stand as he says he doesnt know. i think it was along the lines of met a girl in a club/pub went back to her place done the deed and went home from what he says. i do love him but am hurting so much its so difficult to think. now all he keeps doing is apologising which makes it even harder for me to deal with. we are going to see if we can work through this but i know its going to take time. in a way i want the person who text to grow some balls and ring or switch their phone on and answer it. if they were genuinly trying to tell me something wouldnt they want to explain more?

They might just want to make his life as difficult as possible, not yours.
I'm at the edge of phoning 3 different numbers to find out if they belong to other women. I have a child with him and caught him red handed last week with OW, but I think there may be others too...
I hope it's just a cruel joke.

oh no it sounds like your situation may be harder than mine, im so sorry. we have 2 children together he has 2 grown children and i have 1 from previous relationship, so a lot of kids to get hurt by this although our 2 are young so may not be so hard for them.
i am thinking i hope it was a wrong number or maybe someone just out to cause trouble but this it what has brought out his infidelity, which makes me feel he never felt guilty for being unfaithful.
i hope you get to the bottom of your situation good luck

My Dp has been screwing at least one OW for 4 years. He's outed now but I wish to God it had been a one night stand.
Good luck to you too.x

I meant that I hope your phone message was just a cruel joke. Sorry.

haven't had time to read all the posts, but I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. its worth bearing in mind that whoever sent you the text message clearly did so in order to upset you and cause you to row with your dh....so don't let them get what they are after. Obviously its awful to find out that your dh had a one night stand, and even worse (emotionally, I guess) since you were pg at the time - but the thing you need to decide is whether your overall relationship is worth saving. I suspect thats something you need to do together, rather than apart, and you probably need to find to regain your trust in him as well, if you're going to make it long-term. Good luck, whatever you decide - but whatever you do, don't let shit-stirrers sending anonymous text messages make your big life decisions for you!

oh sorry solo i thought you only just found out.
i do actually believe now that dp does not know who sent the text as he seems to be getting very frustrated the phone is now permanently switched off. i do think it is going to take a while to get back what we had after this and dont even know if it will work but i guess only time will tell, although i am worried that i wont be able to sleep in the same bed as him when he comes home and i guess if i cant it must mean its over.
its not so much the text message itself, its the fact the text is what has made him admit to infidelity and that hurts more.

I found out last Tuesday AMi. I didn't know about OW until then and she told me she'd been seeing him for 4 years when I caught them...she didn't know about me and our Dd either.

You don't have to sleep in the same bed as him and still work through this. Don't force yourself in anyway to do anything.
One step at a time if you decide to work through this.
Hope your ok. Good luck.