Ex is here and i think something is going to happen

[Mumlikeu]

I broke up with my partner of three years about a month ago. He is my best friend and we are still extremely close and see each other once a week because he has my son on fridays. He is my son's 'daddy'. And although we arent together any more he is still playing his role in my sons life and because of this we are still a family in that sense.
However me and my ex were not having sex due to a decision made by myself to be celibate as i wanted to stay pure until we got married.Infact we have not had sex for the year. And although it was difficult at the beginning we knew the reasons for doing it and i was amazed by how close we still remained. It was not until a few months ago i started to feel isolated and feeling like things were still not any better. He has a demanding job and i am in college plus i work and have my son. So there was very little time for us to see each other and when we did it revolved around my son. And things were becoming extremely routined and i wanted out.
The confusing part is ever since the spilt we are getting on much better and im finding myself becoming rather attracted to him more and more.
I dont want us to have sex. As i am aware i ended the relationship for things to improve. I am afraid if i allow something to happen tonight it will result in a bad way. I love him and he still loves me. It is clear that neither of us wants to move on. But we clearly have issues to resolve in our relationship and i dont want anything to complicate matters.
Advice asap!

Don't do anything you might regret in the morning.

errr

just shag him

I'm with scary. Maybe all you needed was some time apart.
Go jump him

Oh grow up......

FFS you are not a virgin what is this wanting to 'stay pure'????
a relationship IS about the physical as well as the emotional.
do you have ishoos with sex ?

if you were not having sex when you were together, and you are now best friends what is the differance between when you were together and now you have split up?

Shag him
Issue resloved
Sorted

(some crazzzy folk in this world )

Wonder if she's shagged him yet?

Do you want to get back together?

Why did you break up?

It sounds as if you should be together, really!

Make time tobe with him hen it does nit revolve around your son - he has alreay prved that he is prepared toremoan a committed dad to him.

Resolve to address and sort out you problems, whether or not you have sex tonight. If you do celebrate that you have a man who you love and wholoves you and your son - do away wih the guilt and purity business - he sounds like a good man, not a threat to any definition of 'purity'.

sorry re bad typing!

Sounds like you two should maybe think about getting back together. If you want to have sex with him, then have sex with him!
Was a tad confused at the wanting to stay pure until you're married bit, as you have a child together!

Gosh, the purity thing seems a bit like bolting the stable door after the horse has bolted. Is there a reason why you developed an issue with intimacy?
Poor bloke must be very confused - are you sure you are being fair to him?

I think you should try to save your relationship and drop the born again virgin act. You kind of owe it to dc and the child's father as well as yourself to put this right.

He sounds like a committed partner and dad, don't throw that away.

i dont think her child belongs to him, thats how i read it

The stuff about staying 'pure' suggests that you have an unhealthy, negative attitude to sex that you maybe need to address. It isn't wrong to want to be celibate, of course, but if it's making both you and a partner miserable, then there is something wrong that needs looking at.

Agree with Cadix, if he's a committed dad then don't throw that away, whatever that may mean.

Hmmmn Have just had a quick re-read to see if I misunderstood and am still not sure.

If he is not dc's dad it changes nothing imo, infact if he is not and is happy to step up to that role then my god do not let him slip through your fingers without good reason!

in the cold light of morning, on re-reading, this lady still sounds like a loon

Not necessarily a loon, but troubled.
My friend became a "born again virgin" after a relationship that hurt her and shocked her to the core. She has not had sex, nor relationships for the last 15 years, through choice.

But I dont think celibacy is the solution for the OP, she has a child, she has a man that she loves. Pushing forth a marriage by withdrawing sex is not fair. If she doesnt WANT to have sex that is a different issue that needs adressing.

If you want to have sex with the man, DO so. Marriage is not the be end and all, a good relationship is good, whether married or not. And if marriage is what you both want, it will come one day. But I for sure would not marry somebody who is witholding intimacy.

is the op american? agree with ahat sgb has said.

Wouldn't it be great if we could re-virginate ourselves??

ladytophamhatt: no. Why would anyone want to go back to being clueless about sex and it being clumsy and painful? Why do people fetishize ignorance, incompetence and inexperience with regard to sex. No one celebrates not yet having cooked a meal, driven a car or filled in a tax return.

Hmmm yes.

Good point.

Ok, wouldn't it be ridiculaous odd if we could re-virginate ourselves

ridiculously odd I mean...

quite aside from the insane issue of the 'revirgination', don't all parents end up with their lives revolving round their children?