are you touchy-feely with your partner?

[southeastastralfireworks]

we're not really. it's sort of worrying me after watching how affectionate they are in 'the family'

what is this 'the family'programme I keep reading about on here?

just another reality show

only when I want sex

Nope. We shake hands now and again though.

We are really touchy feely more so than the family, it was so lovey tonight, makes me miss dh, he is working away.

try to be with all my family, it makes a difference you know, just the touch of a hand works wonders in appeasing teenagers and younger. let alone the dh

maybe i need to be more affectionate. something always holds me back though

No not really the odd cuddle and head rub as I pass, he does try to hug me constantly but I tend to wriggle away!!

I am with the kids though, always hugging them and telling them how wonderful they are, my mum never said I love you, only twice in my life and that was once when I was 21, and I rang her drunk and insisted it was about time, and the other was when my heart was broken.

But there are many ways to show love, it doesnt have to be a big cuddly thing.

Haven't watched the family

Dp and I been together nearly 10 years. We've not had proper sex for a while due to stress, but we still touch each other as we pass each other, cuddle and wave each other off from the window in the morning, He fondles my hair which I find relaxing and I stroke his face, which he finds relaxing. I think that touch is an important part of human life and what makes us tick. We need to feel wanted and loved, as children, adults, parents, lovers etc... and just touching each other affectionately allows you to feel that, If no one reaches out and touches you you could feel incredibly alone.

i visited my aunt and uncle when it was his 70th birthday, they're in SA so we don't see them much. Anyway, i noticed that they seemed very much in love, even though they could drive each other nuts sometimes, and I realised that they were like me and dp. touching each other as they passed, giving each other a hug or a kiss every now and again. It is never over the top, for me and dp or for aunt and uncle, nothing that should make others cringe, Just being tactile, showing the other person we care.

My aunt is one of 5 siblings and the only one who has not been divorced.

Just my thoughts on the subject and I do appreciate that others are not touchy feely so they must stay true to themselves.

i wriggle away too cola, i don't know why because sometimes i crave it, but i can't bring myself to relax.

my parent's were never very huggy people.

DH wants to constantly cuddle and fondle.. I don't, he would like to fall asleep in a cuddle every night I get too hot and sticky..

I don't mind generally unless he sulks if I turn him down,, that gets on my top left hand tit.

yes suppose we're a bit like that too klaw

had a big row with dp last night. i think we both want each other to be more tactile yet we can't bring ourselves to do it.

Wasn't at all with ex H - never held hands when out & about & he often wouldn't bother kissing me goodbye when he left the house etc. He had it in his head that people who were all over each other were false & just trying to prove a point!

My new partner is totally opposite. I know it is early days in our relationship (been together nearly 15 months), but we are always holding hands - he even likes to hold my hand across the table when we are sitting having a drink in a bar etc. We hug & kiss frequently too, so total contrast to my last relationship, which wasn't like this even in the very early days!

We must be wrigglers south, i dont know maybe it does go bck to when I was a child, but I do try, I am getting better, I feel like I cant give in or give myself up to him sometimes, why do you think you cant south?

i have no idea, i am considering counselling of some sort because it bugs me. i think it doesn't help that he's the same.

i suppose i'd like him to take the lead, we've been together for nearly 20 years

I don't think h and I touch and cuddle enough...I seem to be the one with a problem I think.

was out with friends tonight and did notice some couples who were constantly fondling each other which was cringy tbh.It's very much a private thing for me which may be part of the problem

sea-we're happily married for 20 yrs now but I'm the same as you .I must be repressed lol

oh dear, went to the loo and left this page up, maybe he saw it.

i find myself inwardly blaming him for it

We're always told how important it is to communicate, Maybe you should talk about it? Find out if you borth want to be a little more tactile. It really doesn;t have to be over the top cringe inducing stuff.

Try sitting cuddled up on sofa. Sometime I lie with my feet over dp's lap and he strokes my feet as we watch crap on the telly. or I'll sit at his feet so he can run his hands through my hair. When we go to bed, before we conk out exhausted, sometimes I'll just stroke his face.

When we're out, of a blue moon, I'll maybe touch his knee when we sitting, or we'll pat each other's bum.

That's not too much is it? We certainly have never been sticking our tongues down each other throats and fondling each other in an overtly sexual way in public. That IS too much!

i tickle him, he doesn't like it

with dh, I grab his bum occasionally. he grabs mine quite frequently. We cuddle up on sofa watching a film. well he watches it, I fall asleep

My dc love cuddles. they / we get lots

Did you receive cuddles and hugs as a child? My dh didn't- wasn't ever told that he was loved either- although he was clearly looked after and cared for- his parents just didn't/couldn't be tactile etc.

Wasn't until he met me that he was liberated (I come from a long line of touchy feely talky types)!
He is now the most demonstrative man I know!
So it's never too late to unleash your inner lovebird.
Make the first move and it will be like bursting a dam.

My DH has never been big on cuddles/ dispays of affection, but I am. My family were/ are tactile and demonstrative and his really weren't. I've got over it now- it's just the way he is, and he is off the hook now, as I have the kids to cuddle! He does snuggle up with the kids too, though, so it's not as if he is cold. I've just learned that he isn't forthcoming with the hugs, so we've kind of made a joke out of it- he will roll his eyes and pretend it is a hardship, and I will snuggle up for a while. I know he loves me really!

Thank you for this thread!!! Me and DH have this problem not touchy enough - I want more hugs etc.....OK gonna be honest here if he touches me hugs etc.. I think he is looking more so I shrink away from it - you can probably tell from that our love life/ sex life isn't what it use to be before kids...please someone tell me this is normal...when we get away for weekend it is different or was last time we were away was about 2 years ago....are we doomed - BTW kids are 8.8 and 3year old?

My family were decidedly un-touchy feely.My parents never said "I love you" nut I know I was and am loved my them so not a problem really.

MY dd is not a touchy cuddly person and never has been even as a toddler.Used to have to trip her up to get a cuddle !

Ds is very cuddly though and I revel in it.