Husband left 2-year-old unattended in gym

[MadamJoJo]

I need your help here ladies as I am fuming.

My husband took my son to gym class and took along my 2 year old in the pushchair so I could get some housework done. The gym class is in one of those Victorian buildings where you need to access the hall by going up a small flight of stairs off a narrow corridor. It can be a bit tricky to access so i assumed hubby would take baby into the hall with him and leave pushchair in the corridor when he dropepd off the elder one. But when I was arrived I was astonished to find my 2-year-old son sitting in the corridor in the pushchair with his father no where in sight.

I went inside and saw my husband on the other side of the gym hall in the spectators' viewing area ( a mezzanine floor ) getting him dressed. I was fuming.

He had just left him in the corridor where there were people walking in and out. He hadn't asked anyone to keep an eye on him.

His excuse for leaving him there was that it was too much bother to unbuckle him for a couple of minutes while he collected DS1. It wasn't a couple of minutes if was more like 10 minutes.

He said I was crazy to be so upset. We had a brief argument in the hall and then he stormed off saying I wsa being unreasonable to be so worked up.

I would never leave my child left unattended in a public place like that, where he was out of sight and earshot with no one supervising him. My approach is a complete "no risk" policy with my kids - especially in public places.

This is not the 50s. It is London.

What do i do now? We've had a huge argument and he thinks that I am the one flying off the handle.

How do I get him to see sense?

You can not be hysterical and still not have your children abducted you know.

Sometimes you have to point out the harsh realities to people who sail along, oblivious to the risks. IF he was thinking of madeleine mccann, he wouldn't have done it.

It's not a question of being hysterical. It's being cautious. Sadly, another family's tragedy remindsme to be more cautious,

you cannot live life, never take any risks and never take your eyes off your children. You will have a nervous breakdown! We all have to learn how to deal with risks in life.

This mentioning abduction all the time is the modern day hysteria. That and the paedophile on every corner.

(I'm not talking about the OP now, just in general).

But the chances of your child being abducted are incredibly slim, virtually negligible. There was far more risk of the child wandering onto the road or finding the swimming pool.

there are some people on here who are very blase about child safely. Lets hope they are never in this sad situation.

WHo has been blase about their child's safety? Just because someone doesnt believe their child is going to abducted like Madeliene Mccann if they take their eyes off them for more than 10 seconds doesnt mean they are bad parents.
Really, it is very rare.

I would be more likely to have a nervous breakdown if I left my children unattended.

NOT taking the risk in the first place is what keeps most parents sane.

'You literally can't let your children out of your sight for ten seconds to get the housework done.'

that is what I am talking about...not leaving a child for 10 minutes in a corridor

Liffey - can I ask you again how you cope from day to day if you dont take your eyes off your kids for more than ten seconds even to do housework?

I think everyone realises it's silly to leave a child unattended for 10 minutes in a public building (although quoting madeliene mccann would still make me laugh) but to exist you do still have to take your eyes off them occasionally.
I still say you need to move on.

Abudction may be rare but you do whatever you can to keep it that way - by ensuring your child is safe, particularly one so young. This is the most extreme thing that could have happened. It was frightening that hubby exposed him to that eventuatlity. God help anyone in that situation. I don't understand why anyone would want to take that risk with their kids? I am not saying wrap them in cotton wool. No way. I am saying you have a responsibility to young children and leaving a 2 year old unattended near a pool in a public place out of earshot and sight of a parent was not responsible. Full stop!

Everyone's ideas about risks are different.

I left my children strapped in their buggies in the playground while I went in and paid dinner money. I had deemed it unlikely that they would come to any harm. But some people might be horrified at that. And I may or may not have done the same as your dh.

Is is likely that someone is hanging around a gym looking to abduct a child? No. Not impossible but unlikely.

It's probably time to have a discussion about your different views on risks.

Your husband didnt expose him to that eventuallity. He was fine. I'm sure your dh wont do it again and probably feels bad enough already. We all make mistakes as parents.

Hercules, this is not about being over protective in an ordinary situation. Of course it would be ridiculous if you felt you couldn't take your eyes off your kids for 10 minutes at home to do the houswork. This is not my scenario. I hope you are not just pushing this point to wind a few of us up. Really, I do want to move on from this but it is just making my husband see my point of view. I have calmed down a bit now, though, thanks ladies.

Bang on the money Dittany!

My points about 10 seconds were in response to Liffeys about not being able to take her eyes off for more than 10 seconds.

I guess this is a thread where you ahve to agree with the op. Good luck in making him have your opinion!

Thanks Hercules. I hope I hubby and I can reach some understanding on this.

I agree that the adduction thing is a bit hysterical. But him escaping his straps and wandering towards either the pool or road is not. Or him being upset at being left is also a real concern.

I have just tried to have a conversation with DH about the above. I made points about all possibilities, including baby being scared and frightened out there, to wandering off to the worst case scenario. DH thinks I am being unreasonable. He just doesn't want to see my point of view. He thinks you need to take risks in life. How do you deal with someone with this attitude?

Well I'd be tempted to say "with that attitude, you may not take thim anywhere then." But then I'd never have a free moment.

I'm sure as someone else has said, he's just embarrassed at this point. Until you drop it, he will probably not concede the point. But inside, I'm sure he's taken on board all your points.