Martian looking for answers from Venus!!!!!

[MrMajestic]

Hi girls, hope some of you are still awake!
I wouldn't ordinarily post on a forum like this, but I've just been out with the guys (who I've got to say have done their level best to cheer me up) and I'm feeling a combination of a little low/sozzled, so I thought 'Hey, what the hell?'

I'm not looking for any magic bullet here, but I figure, who best to make sense of the cryptic minds of the fairer sex than a whole bunch of them together on the internet (fish in a barrel etc.)
Here's the skinny:
I'm getting to a certain age (40ihs) and realising that the ladies that I'm meeting, in a personal sense, just aren't cutting the mustard (broke up this week, my choice, but still an unhappy choice).
We had been together for a great 18 months, but I came to the conclusion that she didn't want me - she wanted what my lifesytle (even in this economic climate!). I suppose what I'm asking is 'How do I meet ordinary women?' And I don't mean that in a pejorative sense, I mean I want to meet 'real' women; ordinary if you will. I'm sure I'm making a fool of myself here, but taking risks is what I do for a living and that's what's got me to where I am today, so what the hell.
I await your slings and arrows!!!

oh what the fuck. I;m going to post anyway. Pass the absinthe ... how do you do that thing where there is an underline and when you click on it theres a picture?

when I get like this, you know, I try to get a pictute of ngorgeous boy on the profile thing and it always ends in bloody disaster. don't go away..gonna try aga8n.

I reckopn I get arseholed about once a month. Not bad? dunno..going to try and post picture of me and bloody gorgeouys ds. hang on..

Oxford?

the trout pub is good

and the perch at binsey is ok

and the cricketers arms

and eating icecream down one trouser leg then jumping off magdalen brifdge...god sorry, bit arseholed. is it allopwed when your husband has run to the third world with all avaialble cash?? i think it is acceptable

I have found recently (I'm still young, so not speaking from a wealth of experience really!) that in finding a partner you need to look for similar things as you would a friend. Someone who shares your interests and will keep you intellectually stimulated.
I think your best bet is to take up a hobby, which requires you to join a group/class or whatever.
I haven't found my 'soulmate' yet... but I don't believe there is a perfect person out there for everyone. Perhaps you are expecting too much? (Too many Disney stories maybe!) Every relationship is about comprimise. Someone who you can bare to live your life with, without feeling the need to kill yourself.

Unlikelyamazonian - I have obviously missed all of what your husband has been up to, but I think getting pissed is not only acceptable, but completely necessary! Hope you don't regret it too much tomorrow

Unlikelyamazon, your 01:04:36 post was just about the funniest thing I have ever read on here.

"Sorry about all the fuck offs" has made me cry with laughter

Hope this post cheers up your morning head

Troll cloning virus in MN software?

Unlikelyamazon- I think you won that round!

This isn't that fine gentleman with the Bentley and ironed jeans, is it?

Predict that MN will go the big brother way in the future; MNers will vote to kick us Trolls out the room. I shall savour my time as a secure MNer.

Perhaps I'm a bit thick? is this thread over and has he been deemed a troll?

40 ish

in Oxford

banned from the Bod

hmm

join a rambling group
or a choir

[runs]

Urgh, I hate the term "real" women, like that bloody Dove advert. What the hell does that mean?

"magic bullet"

"ladeez"

"cutting mustard"

"fairer sex"

"cryptic minds"

"real women"

"slings and arrows"

Hey you "risk taker"; u got it all; are u the new Humphrey Bogart!

You can't get a girlfriend because you are a twunt.

I think this is the same person who sends me 300 emails a day offering me a "Wild ride with crazee ladeez"

Does anyone remember the song: "The Oldest Swinger in Town"?

Can't get it out of my head for some reason.

sadly these men exist and if you join a dating site they write to you completely oblivious of the fact that you are a normal woman living in 2008 and think puke on receipt of this garbage

I think a good place to start would be stop speaking purely in cliche.

What is this big age difference and meeting in dodgy circumstances? You weren't her teacher or parole officer or something were you?

men can write without a hint of irony

hi jane

want to meet tarzan

unlikeyamazonian - how's your hangover? I haven't laughed so much at a post on Mumsnet for ages!!

"so what u doing for breakfast?"

That's incredible Zippi.

Does seem that the well off wanker banker types are the worst for the machismo 'i want to be liked for who I am, not what I've got, but I have got an AWFUL lot actually ladies '

God, give me rural poverty every time.

oh good lord yes, the banker city type "lads" are the very worst to go on dates with

i ended up yelling at one to keep his sodding wandering hands to himself, as i hadnt given him permission to touch me

Martian you inspire me. I am a bit "ring rusty" but here goes dude:

"If I could change the alphabet,
I would put U and I together."

"Heaven must be missing an angel."

"I?ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

Remember "Hulk", it is the delivery that counts.

unlikeyamazonian- we need you back here for a second round

i once had a narrow escape from a guy who was a ken dodd fan

he was chatting on msn and said inexplicably he had been stood up by a woman when he had bought tickets to one of kens shows

he had been to lots of these and suggested it as a possible date

luckily he revealed that a ken dodd show can go on for 5 or 6 hours!!!!!!

it left me wondering at what point he revealed this to the other poor woman

and the german who was mystified that i thought the fact he had a wife might be a hindrance to us meeting up...since he would be england and she was in germany