Dear all, as some of you know, around this time last year I lost my ds Harvey to pneumococcal meningitis. He was 10 months old and my only child. I wanted to try for another baby straight away with Harvey's dad, but there were real problems with the relationship prior to our son's death. I insisted that if we were going to actively try he should slow down on drinking so that we would have a head start before we even began. He thought this was ridiculous and proceeded to go out drinking even more than he had done previously. Eventually the relationship broke down irretrievably, during which time my mother also died of breast cancer, he was not there for me emotionally. Instead he started seeing one of my friends and it transpired that he was sleeping with her, so I told him to leave. At present I am in a protracted dispute over buying him out of our joint mortgage.
BOY, this is a complicated post!
I met someone else in October and he is gorgeous, very mature, a hard worker, and very intellient. The problem is; he is only 22 and I am about to turn 32 in April! He has recently moved into my house as a lodger, and its going really well, BUT.... he knows that I want a baby a.s.a.p. We have discussed this in depth. Obviously, at 22 he is not prepared for this and it is a definite no no. He knows that I feel some sense of urgency, and I have even said to him that I feel I am wasting my time dilly dallying with him. I feel that the sensible thing to do would be to finish this relationship and MOVE ON. Thing is, I think I love him. What a FOOL., I feel like I'm kidding myself re. potential future.
Anyone reading about my situation for the first time would probably think this is all too much too soon. I am so very ready to have another baby. I yearn for it and I just want to get on with establishing an appropriate realationship within which to raise a child. I wouldn't even thisk of conceiving until I believed it was a stable and long term relationship. SO...I feel like time is running out.
What to do?