Advice for my male friend

[GhostlySinCity]

My friend is 32 and has just started dating a woman he met online. Apparantly she kept putting off inviting him back to her house but anyway he's finally been.

He's a bit put off. He said the house was a bit of a mess. She's a single parent of two boys but he said it wasn't really the kids that made the mess. The bathroom side was full of half empty bottles of bubble bath and shampoo and he said the tiles on the bathroom floor were broken and she had no toilet roll holder or anything.

The living room wallpaper was ripped in parts and had marks on it, the laminate flooring hadn't been laid properly and had big gaps near the doors and the kitchen cupboards were either hanging off or wouldn't shut properly.

He said the back garden was also a complete tip with weeds and huge bushes everywhere.

The carpet in her hallway was too small, ragged around the edges and quite dirty, as were the walls in the hallway.

Anyway back to the point, I said he should perhaps ignore the house and concentrate on who she is as a person but he says a persons house is a big reflection of who they are.

I thought I'd put it to you, with his knowledge (so he'll be reading any replies).

[ToughDaddy]

it's all coming out now; the toilet role thing that is. I will throw mine away as I now feel like an outcast.

[ToughDaddy]

toilet roll!

[jnmum]

I think he is far too critical and not someone I would like to be with

[honestfriend]

where do you put your loo roll then? Floor? cistern? window sill? radiator?

[Janos]

He's been on one date to hers and he's critcising her home? Poor woman. No doubt she is afraid of being judged and rightly so.

If I was her I'd get rid frankly as your friend sounds rather judgemental and picky, putting it nicely. If he's like this now..well...

[MadameCastafiore]

Bleach is seriously cheap.

God if her house is a tip I bet her lady garden is minging!

But then you could eat your dinner off of my kitchen floor as that is something that is seriously important to me - hygeine - not eating off the floor.

I would steer well clear of someone who had such different principals than you.

[Janos]

A decent person would be wondering how they could help out as well, not bitching about it.

I don't own a toilet roll holder either. Why is it so important?

[Alambil]

She's a single mum of two young chilren, correct?

Single parents are not rich. Single parents have to make do.

It could be that simply the kitchen doors don't work correctly and the carpet doesn't fit because that's ALL she could afford at the time and it has to do.

I think she could do better if that's how he is feeling tbh. I'd hate someone to judge me because my kitchen doors don't fit properly!!

[MrsSnape]

MadameCastafiore, I think that is unfair. Having a messy house does not mean you're a complete tramp when it comes to personal hygiene! surely he would have noticed if she was personally dirty/smelly by now anyway?

I keep my toilet roll on the Laundry Basket...or sometimes on the back of the toilet. The kids like to keep it on the floor

[Janos]

Mine sits on the cistern

[Janos]

Seriously, are we talking about grubbiness or dirt and filth? Because messy and unhygienic are two very different things.

Anyone who gets het up about a bit of mess needs to chill out some and if they can't, or it's stoo important well they had better make sure they date someone who is up to their 'standard' whatever that may be.

[Lazycow]

Reading the OP again, all the things mentioned are about shabbiness/old/badly fitting/broken stuff NOT about dirt apart from some grubby walls/carpets. The only real thing about dirt was the later comment re the cooker. You should see my oven and my place is usually reasonably clean and tidy- most of the time anyway.

I think this guy doesn't really like the woman and also he is not likely to understand the difficulties of having no money and children.

[zippitippitoes]

the first xmas after mi married exh my mil gave me a toilet roll as my xmas present

absolutely nothing wrong with it standing on the cistern to me

i am glad my bf is more kind in his assessment of me and my house..he is also 32

tho having stayed in a hotel and been camping with him we seem equally capable of reducing a perfectly empty tidy space to a shambles within minutes lol

[zippitippitoes]

a toilet roll holder..

[funkypumpkin]

Oh dear he should come to mine, I am a single parent, work full time, 2DS and a dog and my house is clean but I am embarassed if any one comes round as I am worried what they will think as things need doing etc, and need flooring fitted but for love or money cant get anyone to do it... If he likes her he should ask her if she wants any help not being shallow and picky like he is being. I havent a toilet roll holder either in any off my 3 bathrooms