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Relationships

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How do you tell a friend she has developed a moustache?

63 replies

Upwind · 09/10/2008 14:49

Tis very distracting and everyone looks twice. I can't bring myself to mention it.

But if I ever grow one I want to be told!

OP posts:
Upwind · 10/10/2008 04:09

cory

after reading this thread I now suspect that without access to chemists most women would have flowing facial hair

OP posts:
nooka · 10/10/2008 04:24

Pity isn't it. If we hadn't all bought into this beauty con just think of how much time and money we would be saving... I bet most of the hairs being removed are hardly even noticeable, and if everyone left them no one would have to worry about it.

Buda · 10/10/2008 06:31

IK your friend has only recently developed her tache it may be medical. PCOS or thyroid problems may cause hairiness.

tigermoth · 10/10/2008 07:05

If you're both over 30, you could start a conversation about how you've noticed so many women get a few facial hairs - is it an age thing? But actually, no, forget that, as you have no excess hair yourself so any talk of facial hair is not going to include you.

Can you ask your friend generally how her health is, if she is keeping well, in case she wants to tell you of any thyroid/PCOS problem that she has?

If not, I'd leave well alone. She almost definitely realises anyway.

Wuxiapian · 10/10/2008 16:04

Upwind, if you ever grew one you wouldn't want or need to be told because you'd know!

Just leave her alone. It obviously bothers you more than it does her.

Bleedodgy · 10/10/2008 16:09

It depends on the friendship I think. I could tell my best friend but we do have the kind of relationship that when either one of us has a spot the other will comment on her second head.

gagamama · 13/10/2008 09:53

Oh I have a friend who has got a proper little goatee going on. I'm not usually bothered by facial hair (I get the odd long dark thing growing out of my neck/chin which looks like it should have come from my head instead - it's most odd - and I have furry arms that most blokes would be envious of) but hers are really thick and dark and coarse like actual man-beard hair. I can't imagine that she can't see them, but even if she couldn't, surely she'd FEEL them? Or her DP would say something?

It utterly baffles me and I have come close to offering to tweezer them out for her on many occasions. Her eyebrows and head hair are always perfect. I don't get it.

Rubyrubyruby · 13/10/2008 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rubyrubyruby · 13/10/2008 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piecesofeight · 13/10/2008 23:59

Don't tell her. Either she hasn't noticed and is therefore not bothered by it, and the problem lies with those looking at her. Or she has noticed and doesn't care - and again, the problem lies with onlookers. If she wanted to do something about it (bleach, wax, electrolysis, shave, laser, etc), she would. Believe me, I know. I have had one since my teens, and now have proper coarse hair on my chin and jaw too, which I now shave every day. I don't want everyone to see this, so I have tried electrolysis and laser treatment, neither of which worked, and am now shaving, which I hate, but I am fairly sure that most of the time, no one notices.

DS has commented on my chin being "prickly", and two kids have told me in the past that I have a moustache, and I found all of these comments mortifying. Your friend might feel similarly if you say something. I manage it as best I can, though can't be arsed to bleach my upper lip regularly (all this de-fuzzing takes time), and I am much better these days at thinking that any problem with it lies with the person looking at me. I hope your friend's self-esteem is robust enough to not give a flying f*ck about it either.

piecesofeight · 14/10/2008 10:05

Here's a not-even-bringing-it-up option for you: offer her cups of spearmint (not peppermint) tea whenever she visits. Research in the past couple of years is tentatively suggesting that a couple of cups a day could have anti-androgenous effects on a woman's raised male hormone levels.

I've been tested for PCOS three times - negative - and my androgen levels are normal, but I have need-to-shave-daily hirsutism nonetheless. Perhaps for women who've had their hairiness investigated to no avail, and don't want to take conventional medical hormone treatment, spearmint tea is worth a shot?

Alambil · 15/10/2008 00:52

POE that's interesting - my hormone levels are FINE but I get a beard

I have found out that eating broccoli more days than not helps too - just so you know... a general high green vegetable intake helps - I think it's something to do with vitamins

Do you have any documents about the spearmint?

Wuxiapian · 15/10/2008 09:23

I had my hormone levels tested, too, which thurned out absolutely normal.

I think it's just one of those things, rather like stretchmarks, damn them...

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