oh my god, i don't know where to start, so i'll just plunge right in - DH came home early last night and found me upstairs-ahem! - having a good time on my own with a hand held shoulder massager!!!(blush). there was no getting out of it, i just started to cry with embarassment and kept saying i wished he'd called first!! - poor bloke was fine about it on the outside but we're both fairly reserved sexually and i just don't want him thinking i do this sort of thing every afternoon whilst he's out at work (i really don't!) he seems normal this morning, but i just can't stop thinking about it and just feel a bit wierd about our marriage now, like i've ruined it, or been caught cheating on him. i know this sounds really funny and i'd laugh about it if it was someone else but i feel so ashamed and guilty and i don't think i'll ever feel normal again - oh no, i've started crying again just thinking about it.
i don't expect that anyone else has been in the same position but some well meaning advice on how to get over this would be v. welcome as i feel so awful.