i have never had an orgasm since being married

[awkwardquestion]

and i was a virgin on my wedding day! where am i going wrong?

As in not any? Not even in foreplay?

as in not any at all

some women find orgasm very difficult to attain, so it could be that you are one of those women or it could be that your technique (or DH's) is well off the mark.

wonder how i would know which it is

do you know what turns you on ?

Have you experimented with positions, techniques, masturbation ?

To be honest, if the answer to the above is no, then I think you need to get to know yourself a bit better sexually with a bit of trial and error.

You had them before?

I have no idea which it is, or how you could say for definite.

You need Mamazon. She is a sexpert

did have some with dh in foreplay before marriage but never achieved it in masturbation either- even with rampant bunny or anything..

Well I've never during intercourse. I don't think it'll happen for me but have you done it on your own successfully? Have you used a sex toy before?

Sorry. Cross posted.

indeed. dont know how to find time for experimentation but maybe that is the problem!

A lot of orgasm is in the mind, I wonder if you have some sort of subconscious psychological block ?

Dunno, just thinking out loud.

FWIW, the majority of women do not orgasm through penetration alone, there has to be some clitoral stimulation

(I hope you're not a perv and tugging off to this)

Do you find that you start to worry about it whilst already doing things with DH? Is there anything, psychologically, that might hamper you with sex toy/masturbation?

Had your DH had any sexual experience before marriage? If the answer is no, or not much, then both of you would benefit from a good book or two: there are absolutley loads out there about enjoying sex and making it better, many of which start from a very basic level (you don;t have to plunge straight into Better Bondage or anything).
Actually, whatever experience your DH might have had, a good book would help you both and you especially.
Another thing that may be causing you problems is: were you brought up to think that sex is simultaneously dirty, disgusting, wrong... and somehow sacred? A wedding ring on your finger does not magically fill your genitalia with fairy dust: very few skills are automatic.

promise am genuine. to be honest i hardly do think about it as never expect it to happen. have got quite close a few times but never quite got there. i assume there is some kind of mental block but havent been abused or anything so dont know what it could be. weird. am quite an inhibited person so perhaps just not letting myself go but dh makes me feel beautiful and desired and sexy so not sure what the prob could be

You say you were a virgin but have you ever tried by yourself?

In order for anyone to know how to please you you need to know yourself. not all women are the same. some will reach orgasm through clitoral stilmulation others through penetration.

you need to have a bit of a play by yourself until you find what feels good for you...then keep doing it till you get that feeling.

Do you enjoy the sex you do have despite not reaching orgasm?

i did think sex was sacred for marriage but not dirty or wrong. perhaps had learned to inhibit myself when not married (although bizarrely did have orgasms for a while when with dh during foreplay but they suddenly stopped and have never returned).dh had had sex with others before me and he has no probs in that department! i think our rhythms are totally different but we have worked that out now an dcan allow for it. but just starting to get to me to be honest

i do enjoy the sex mostly. sometimes more than others obviously.

yes did try by myself but couldnt ever get there.....

did you find it embarrassing maybe? to orgasm i mean?

I know it is quite common for women to feel self concious at that point as you kind of lose control for a second, that feeling of vulnerability is sometimes i problem...often subconciously.

could well be that. really need to work it out though as dh would like to feel he can make it happen for me too....

bump

well if you have had one before then there is nothing physical stopping you.
when you have had one previously was it clitoral stimulation?

Have you ever tried a sex toy? they are a good way of getting yourself used to the idea of orgasm. they help you reach it quicker as it is a physical response to the feeling.

take some time alone when you aren't in a rush or likely to be disturbed and havea try.
once you have done it yourself keep doing it. get used to how it feels and how it makes YOU feel.

then you can bring in your partner. once you have tried it alone a few times you will learn the little tricks and special "hot psots" to help you reach orgasm.

Go Cowgirl. I've always found being on top greatly increases the chances of having an orgasm. Also, get REALLY turned on before you have sex (check out some porn). Wait until your practically panting!! Then get him upstairs pronto. If you're turned on enough, it will definately happen

Let me know how you get on