Can sympathise with everyone, felt the same for ages after birth of 2 kids. Breastfeeding does supress libido massively, as does tiredness and resentment to partner for not helping enough etc. Agree also about the pill, it tells your body you are pregnant and when I was pg, did not fancy sex much (tho know that a lot of others do).
Things have improved massively with me and dp and I put it down to a number of things. Firstly, not being pg or breastfeeding anymore (did both almost continuously for nearly 4 years) helped with the return of libido. Having periods again also helped as always feel more up for it when ovulating. But I think what helped us the most was going to Relate (unconnected to sex life) as it sorted out and aired a lot of issues that had built up over the years.
IMO, sex for women is 99% 'head', 1% physical. A man can do all the right things but if you are not happy deep down, it won't work. Well that's what it's like for me. If you are feeling used (be it by babies, toddlers, partner) then you resent / avoid giving your body to your partner because it is the only way you can get some of yourself back. If that makes sense.
My Mum was a sex therapist for Relate for many years and she said one of the most common reasons for referral was 'gone off it' (either woman or man). It is very treatable. If your lack of libido is a problem, then talking to a professional can help you find the source and hopefully a way forward. Finding a good counsellor is like finding a good gp, the first one you meet may not be the one you like. So if you have a bad experience with a counsellor, if you have the energy, try again. I really hope you can sort it all out.