I'm fed up being the one who is always on top of everything

[ssd]

I mean the one who is on top of the kids homework/play dates/birthday presents/beaver runs/school charity collection/kids needing clothes bought/bins needing put out(same day for 10 years.../ I could go on and on

I'm just so fed up, dh is great with the kids generally but only great with things he's interested in IYSWIM

don't give me a talking to, I know him too well, its what he's like

it is draining feeling responsible for everything/everybody , i am suffering from responsibility fatigue.
i suppose the main difference for me is that i don't resent DH not doing anything, but i do hate the feeling of sole responsibility.
you know who you can get life coaches, can you get someone to have all the responsibilities too

Children's administration (school, dates, GP, parties etc); ME
Bills; ALL DIRECT DEBITED
Car admin; NO CAR
DIY; WHOEVER FEELS THAT SOMETHING NEEDS DOING
Organisation of housework; AS ABOVE
Shopping; ME IN THE MAIN, DH GETS BITS ON WAY HOME IF NEEDED, I DO ONE DELIVERY ORDER A MONTH
Organisation of extended family stuff? NOTHING TO ORGANISE EXCEPT CARDS ETC,WHICH ONLY TAKES ME A FEW MINUTES A YEAR!

Children's administration (school, dates, GP, parties etc) - ME
Bills - ME
Car admin - ME
DIY - Erm... no-one It tends to get left until it is really bad, then DH admits he will never do it so we call Psychodad and pay him with beer.
Organisation of housework - ME
Shopping - ME
Organisation of extended family stuff - ME

DC's Admin ME
Bills ME
Car Admin DH
DIY DH
Organisation of Housework BOTH
Shopping BOTH
Organisation of extended famly stuff I do mine and nobody does his.

I refuse to do stuff about his but will do my own at a push.

Really pointless one...

Who orders takeaways?????

Am SAHM with 9 week old and toddler.

Children's administration (school, dates, GP, parties etc); ME
Bills; ME
Car admin; ME/DH
DIY; DH/
Organisation of housework; DH
Shopping; BOTH
Organisation of extended family stuff; ME

• DH with prompting

Cooking - DH
Cleaning/tidying/hoovering - DH
Ordering takeaways - ALWAYS DH!!

DH likes cooking, I like doing admin/organising stuff. It works for us!

Lol Flame; takeaways, on the rare occasion we have them, is down to me cos, and I quote, 'they never understand my accent'did you have trouble understanding him when he spoke to you?!

pmsl - he even uses the same excuse as DH!!!! As the Chinese takeaway guy clearly grasps English better than Welsh?? The welshman who has lived here for so long now his accent isn't all that strong.

No. MrMRM didn't strike me as heavily accented.

sigh

Oh me too.
I feel this way too.

I am reponsible for all housework / bills and money / day to day running of house and car / looking after DD.

DH does bits of DIY but nothing difficult. I do bits too.

We take turns cooking.

He washes up but only if I ask him to.

He takes the bins / recycling out.

He very occasionally does housework if I ask him to.

We hardly ever get takeaways. But DH buys all the beer / wine

My DH drinks all the beer/wine...

I make DP actually telephone workmen etc, but I find them in the first place.

I feel bad making that list; it probably doesn't do to focus too much on these things...

I wish somebody would make a very detailed list of everything that happens in a household so that I could tick off the boxes. I could do it but just can't be bothered...

That would be useful, Anna888. I am sure there are things that should happen in our hosue which never happen. Someone could do a sort of planner whch would tell you that eg in Septmber you were supposed to clear leaves out of your gutters and renew your binlid tax or whatever... and that you shoudl write down when your children have PE and where you should write it down and what you should store that thing in and when you should update that thing...

What I am finding very frustrating at the moment is that I am suffering with a very bad back (am 6m pregnant), so I literally can't mop or vacuum - things which I would normally do every day. Don't worry darling says DH, I'll do it. So how many times has this happened since he offered a month ago? One floor mopping and one very poor effort at vacuuming. I gave in and mopped yesterday and now today I can hardly walk - and DH told me off for doing it. But he acts such a marytr for doing the most piss poor job of housework, only when I point out the fact that he hasn't done what he says he will/has done it badly, I am a nag.

I could have written your post. If you find out how to reverse things a bit let me know because I am getting really wound up!

"responsibility fatigue" is the perfect description. I love it. I'm definitely suffering from a bad case of R.F.

DC's Admin - DH
Bills - paid by DD, I take slightly more responsibility
Car Admin - DH
DIY - both, but more DH
Organisation of Housework - both (infrequently), but DH does more washing up and most of the weekday cooking
Shopping - both
Organisation of extended family stuff - both

This is partly because I am a lazy slattern and DH is fairly domestic, and partly because DH is a SAHD, so around more. Maybe you should all drop your standards?

DH will do stuff if asked but that is what frustrated me. Why do they never use their initiative? He has got a good job and uses his initiative there, but at home, nope.

I get a bit bored of always being in charge. Can't see it changing.