Anything your parents have let slip now you are an adult that you were oblivious to as a child?

[twentypence]

My dad said on the phone "oh, there's that mountain we climbed on the telly. You remember when I took you and your brother away for a holiday and mum stayed at home."

I didn't catch all of what mum said - but it was something to the effect that she wasn't best pleased to be reminded of the time they split up.

I had no idea - I just thought dad got more leave.

Some very interesting & shocking stories on here!

As a child/young adult we all knew that my youngest brother was an 'accident' as there was a 5yr age gap and my parents had moved abroad (leaving behind all baby stuff - so maybe they had 'thought' about another i guess) and had to buy everything again.

Only the other day talking to him about it did i realise that actually think we were all unplanned!

My parents lived in Ireland in the 70's with no contraception so my sis would have been a happy accident, she was only 5mo when i was conceived (14mo age gap) so now realising that i was an accident too. Then they had just moved to the UK when first brother appeared.
Then second brother.

So in fact i am more of an accident than younger brother
Makes me feel a bit odd actually...

At a recent family get-together, my father mentioned that one of his aunts, who died recently at 90+, had a fiancee who had drowned before she met her husband. At which point, one of the other cousins who was old enough to remember revealed that in fact, the man hadn't drowned - he had dropped their aunt because his family had objected to the match as she 'wasn't good enough.' The family was so embarrased they never told anyone the truth, including the younger cousins...
(The irony, of course, is that this aunt lived a totally respectable life and brought up a lovely family...)

Yeah, my aunt let it slip that my mum was pregnant at her wedding. My parents were divorced at the time and the aunt was dad's sister, whom my mother hates. Whoa, was that a juicy gossip night.

Re: all the pet secrets - I can't top the bunny stories. However, when our dog 'disappeared' when I was five, my parents told me they had sent him to a dog farm 'where he could run around with lots of other dogs and have lots of fun'. I was about 18 when I suddenly clicked that I'd never heard of a dog farm.
Turns out he'd bitten someone and had to be put down....

My grandma died last year, and we found out that she had been married before my grandad. She had then left him to go and work in a nearish city, where she met my grandad and married him - when she was already married to the first man.

She then moved away, and the 1st husband stayed living with my gran's parents for years. He then found out that my gran had had two children (my dad and aunt) and so he divorced her and promised he would never tell anyone.

On the other side, my great aunt had a baby and then met someone else, who didn't want children, so she just left the baby behind, and they moved to New Zealand. The "baby" is now in her late 60s and has a family of her own, and to this day, doesn't know that the dad's new wife isn't her mother and that her real mother is in NZ.

My parents left me alone at home to go out for dinners. I know it may not be shocking, but I'm still freaked they would leave a 3 months old baby asleep in her cot and drive 10km to another town to eat out. They only did it once though and my Mum shot my Dad a look to keep his trap shut

omg cashmeremafia - what were they thinking???

I found out I had a wet nurse, my family were living in Zambia when I was born, they used to always say that I used to sleep out in the hut with the nanny but I never thought through why, dad let is slip a couple of years ago.

They wanted to have a wedding anniversary dinner or whatever. My Mum looked totally embarassed when she saw my face.

I thn proceeded to look at my little 4 month old dd and decided I would never do that ever to her. I mean in the light of Maddie and just because I wouldn't.

sometimes wonder if I cried and no one came.

Oh, CL, yes, we had the option with my dd, too. I would never let my dd (or any child thereafter) be raised by the nanny.

That my dad played Santa at my playgroup Christmas parties. I had no clue. Pulled his beard (real) and everything.

My mum had two affairs before I was born . My dad told me and she doesn't know I know.

That my grandfather never loved my grandmother and was kind of forced into marrying her as she was from a wealthy family (until they lost it all in the depression). He then went on to have numerous flings and one was supposed to have resulted in a love-child, although my grandmother never mentioned it.

However when I was at uni and working in a shop this woman came in who looked EXACTLY like my mother - same age, height, hair, look, everything was the same, it was just spooky.

Both of my parents are secretive people, and Dad's family in particular has some nasty, if predictable trainwrecks in it, so I get the feeling that all sorts of things will come out when they are gone.

My dad spent part of his childhood in care. He often speaks about his "granny" who looked after him when he was young, and I was always led to believe she was a nanny. A couple of years ago I mentioned her to my aunt, and said something about her being Dad's nanny. My aunt replied with, "oh, you mean his foster mother?"
I have brought the subject up with him, but he claims not to know why he was fostered. He went back to his family in the end, so it can't have been anything too serious.
On a more positive note, when my great-aunt died years ago, we found a box of old 78 rpm records, which to our surprise, included some she'd recorded herself! It turns out that she was the 1940s equivalent of Kathryn Jenkins and recorded a series of popular opera songs. She wasn't as famous as Kathryn though, and as far as I know no-one collects her stuff.
We knew she and my granny were musical (they ran a singing school together), but we had no idea that my aunt had taken her career that far.

My mother's first child (a boy) was stillborn after she was alone for a week whilst my father was way and got sick. She was about 7 months pregnant and it was born dead. I never had an inkling although she used to ask me all sorts of strange questions when I was a child (did I believe in limbo? Did I think dead babies were in heaven?, etc., etc.). All highly unsuitable questions for a ten year old to process but my parents were odd so it seemed within their usual paramaters of bizarre/useless. Anyway, it turns out that she'd harboured all this agony over her dead baby being in Limbo (she's Catholic...) until blurting it out to me when I was around 19 years old when we were sitting in the garden. She was pretty dreadful in many respects but I feel immense pity that she carried that loss with her for so long and it was so unspoken. No grave, no footprints on a little card (that's not how they did things in the 1960s). Nothing tangible. She called him S e bastian apparently. He would be 40 had he lived.

Also, there was a huge scandal a hundred or so years back with my Mother's Grt Grt Grt Grandmother (her Grandmother's Grandmother?) who lived in India - all very British Raj! Some Big Dirty Secret that went to the grave with an Uncle who burned all the relevent documents before he died. I would imagine a child born out of wedlock or some such shocker. She was from a well-to-do family so that may have been why it was so hidden. It tallies with some confusion over birth certificates and dates that don't quite match.

Some of these stories are very sad.

I was about 22 when I realised my Dad hadn't actually married my mum because she WAS pregnant.... I was conceived 10 months after they had married.

they divorced when I was young and I just assumed they'd only ever got married out of duty... I mean, they could never have actually wanted to be together right????? Just not possible with those two.......

My Grandfathers mother turned out to be his grandmother. His sister was really his mum. She was only about 15 when she got pregnant in the 20's.
My great aunt supposedly died of influenza in the 50's. Turned out it was a botched backyard abortion.
My real father was invovled in a major australian polical scandal in the 80's´. He used to hide all the incriminating documents etc...

I had lunch with my aunt and my cousins in London once, and they mentioned "the time your dad was in a psychiatric hospital with anorexia". I said, "no, no, no, that never happened". There was silence.

Got home, rang my Mum. Actually yes it did happen. I was so shocked. Men don't get that I said.

My aunt and my cousins had a fight on the tube on the way home. blaming eachother for letting the cat out of the bag apparently.

Bloody hell. That really shocked me. I haven't told anybody in rl. I think I should have namechanged for this.

DH's mum found out that her "mother" was in fact her grandmother and the woman she though was her sister, was in fact her mum. She thought she had two much older siblings and she had been an accident

DH's mum was 46 when she found out - she was clearing out her adored "mother's" stuff after she had nursed her through cancer and stumbled across her birth certificate, which said she was born in Bradford (200 miles away from where she was brought up) with her sister's name as birth mother. Father was given as "unknown".

When MIL begged her "sister" to know who her father was, her sister refused (and still refuses) to tell her anything, saying it "is none of her business" . No one else in the family seems to know either, although rumours of American airmen and good time girl abound.

Needless to say MIL doesn't talk to her sister

At 29 and days away from giving birth to my 2nd child my mother decided it was a good time to have a tearful confession and tell me that she feared I would not cope with 2 kids on my own (my OH is in the forces due to go away for 6 mnths and at that time I lived 550 miles from family) as she could not cope with me (i was the 2nd child) even with the help of my Dad. her mum etc. She then went on to tell me I had been fosterd upto the age of 4. I spent most weekends with my family and the rest of the time with auntie Jean - who was infact my foster mum not my aunt. At the age of 4 my mum thought she could cope so had me back.

It really freaked me out altho it filled in a few blanks I didnt really know were there. At least it explains why there are few photos of me in the pre school years.

Did you not remember Mrs Lemon.

I left my children's dad when dc1 was 4 and a half. I wonder how much she'll remember when shes an adult.

My mum chose a moment when she was staying with me after I'd just had DS1, to tell me that she'd had an abortion.

I'm not sure how old I was, but, wierdly, I found myself saying 'I know' - she said 'your dad never mentioned it afterwards' - but I'd heard her shouting 'I had that abortion for us' during one of their yelling matches, so it obviously did come up.

I've never told my three siblings - my youngest brother could have been between 3 and 7 I think, making me between 11 and 16, but I'd never tell him he might have had a little brother or sister.

It seems one of her mates had said, well, you don't have to have it, and then she discovered another mate had had one.

So that made it okay.

On a more positive note. My DMums best friend is one of 7 - Catholic family.

The middle girl (and BFs big sis) was the result of an affair her mum had with an American airman in the war. Her dad was in a POW camp in Japan and obv her mum didn't know if he was dead or alive. On his return he was a tad shocked but said he didn't blame her and they settled down and had a few more children.

The 'child' in question says that he NEVER treated her any differently to the others .

My mum told my cousins (now) wife a few years ago, in a bar (bit tipsy) she had miscarried twins. I was standing there and pretty sure she knew I was but I daren't meantion it incase it upsets her. I would like to know if they were IVF to know if I have a chance of having twins, but I don't think it's worth the possible upset if I meantion it

I know very little about my dads family and one summer my dad went to Kenya with his brother. When he came back he showed me photos and said about one "there's the men I pay to look after my brothers grave". I had no idea he had another brother at all - he was killed in some uprising in Kenya years and years ago. I don't even know my dads dads name.

A few months after DH and I married he said to me "oh , mum said my brothers getting married - shall we go?" I had no idea he had a (half) brother at all! Apparently he was given to DHs mums parents and/or sister to raise though after DH came along - no idea why. No one will tell me and I don't want to ask. I keep finding out new things about DHs family all the time - him too! A cousin added him on facebook but DH couldn't place his surname - turns out he had a different dad to what DH thought (ie his uncle). Same with another cousin who added him on facebook - lived opposite for DH for over 20 years and he never noticed her surname was different! And DH only found out after his dad had died (going through paperwork) that his mum was married to someone else when she had him.

Oh, and before my parents divorced (been seperated 15 + years though at this point) the guy giving a 'quote for the hedges' was actually my mums fancy man!

My mother told me that they fostered a little girl called Carol before I was born and wanted to adopt her but her parents decided they wanted to keep her after all. Then I came along!! Better late than never I suppose.....

.... and just as well I was a girl cos she also told me that if I'd been a boy she would've put ME up for adoption!! (I have 4 older brothers, btw)

Both things made me feel a bit odd, somehow.