A man who buys a vibrator for valentines day

[miamisunrise]

What would you think if your partner (not living together) bought you a vibrator for valentines day? (expensive rabbit type).

I'm not a prude but I thought this was a bit, "off", "childish", "thoughtless",
"embarrassing" etc

It was even worse when I found texts on his phone asking his mate how his girlfriend had reacted with hers and saying that I "loved it" etc

So am I a miserable old prude or do I have a point?

and it is actually nearer next xmas than valentines day so why are you rehashing this thinking now

there must be some reason its festering still

i feel the same way about men who buy me sexy underwear or costumes as an occassion present withouth asking me first, yeah.

i mean, i wouldn't buy a chap stuff like that without bringing it up because he may not get off on it, or he may get off on something else and so be better suited to a present like that.

you know, it's all about seeing what makes the other person tick, not just assuming and passing it off as a present for an occassion - versus a 'happy random friday' night gift or that.

Expat -
"But it's like porn or other aids or anal play or coming in someone's mouth, you at least broach the subject before giving it as a present" LOL at the thought of coming in someones mouth as a present....now I'd be taking that one back to the shop!

well, she's annoyed by it, makemine. it's likely she wouldn't have been so much annoyed for so long had it been something they'd chatted about.

like i said, i like Bob, but i did a lot of research on him before purchasing him and i'd have been peeved if someone went and assumed they knew what was best for me, especially as a V-day gift!

well, some folks dig it, makemine .

but it can never be assumed someone will appreciate that, so the courteous thing would be to ask first before doing that in someone's mouth.

on here, there are some who will do it as a treat.

others who have no bother with it, and still others for whom it's a 'no way, never!'.

do we have any evidence that the OP is anything but a troll? I am someone who would quite like a vibrator for a valentine's present, obviously not all women feel the same way.

I don't think there's anything particularly dreadful about buying someone one though. Personally I loathe red roses but I can't tell you how many times I've been given those

that thought did occur to me spicemonster

it's like makeup, i like to be consulted first if i haven't expressed a specific interest in a product first.

I'm kind of.... if I'm drunk enough but only cos I know he really likes it. But then thats a bit TMI!

Yeah you are right shouldn't have assumed that, you would have thought he'd have tested the water first to see if she'd be up for it? He should know her well enough to know it would be a bit contentious. Bit silly of him.

do men buy make up unsolicited

So are we agreed that it can be a good present but only if the woman concerned has expressed an interest?

Can we talk about something else now, given the OP is clearly just on the stir?!

it's happened, zippi!

but let's face it, there's a huge range of vibes out there, to suit all sorts of needs and purposes.

the market can be overwhelming.

to me it just seems like courtesy to suss out if your gal is more suited to one that's heavier or more diverse on the penetration side v. the clit side, for example, before buying one.

yes given i am on my own should i get off mn and go and buy a rake, a fork , some of that yellow spray chalk and er a bottle of wine

oh and i some something in boots today called villette or something which was supposed to make it much easier to have an orgasm

but boots is shut

i saw

My dh feels threatend by virators, well i think he is.

I made a comment about wanting one and he made a comment about no emotion in it or something I didnt want it to speak to, any way think ill buy one on the quiet and keep it my little secret.

Bear in mind that some people are generally rubbish at buying presents: I bet there's a huge thread to be had out of 'what's the daftest/most inappropriate thing anyone ever gave you as a gift'? And we don't really know what the OP's DP is like in other respects: whether he's selfish and smutty-minded or a lovely bloke who's a bit inept. It is a good point that someone who wants a vibrator might prefer to choose it herself but again that varies: I have known women be thrilled with the gift of one.
Dittany, btw: I don;t think that everything men do is right, I am more than aware that some men behave horribly, as do some women. However, you seem to think that any manifestation or expression of sexual desire in a man is wrong, abusive, and disgusting.

Oh, and what a lot of rubbish about vibrators being for women who are frightened of their own bodies. Vibrators provide different sensations to fingers, tongues and dicks. Some women like the mechanical vibrations, others don't. (Just as some women love having their fanjos licked and others prefer anal penetration: we are all different). What gives you the right to tell other women that their sexual choices are wrong and they are deluding themselves?