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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried about sex with new man.. hoping sex experts out there might reassure me..

42 replies

mummynewname · 20/08/2008 13:17

Ladies, you may find this funny and I don't know if this is the right place for this - but I am seeing a new man - totally in love etc. - but I am really worried about having sex with him.

I gave birth to ds 2 years ago, and new man has a lovely but quite small and very slim penis. To put it bluntly - I'm worried it won't even touch the sides!

Have been doing pelvic floor exercises and everything - but I am so concerned about disappointing him.

Any words of wisdom very welcome..

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 20/08/2008 18:46

well i didnt say it was attractive just damage limitation

mummynewname · 20/08/2008 18:51

looking forward to darker evenings - then maybe I'll let him take off the blindfold

OP posts:
SpandexIsMyEnemy · 20/08/2008 19:16

you should be proud I reckon!

mummynewname · 20/08/2008 19:21

oh I am, he's lovely. But I wonder whether he worries about it too..

..his 1st marriage lasted 6 months!

second was 10 years though so he can't be THAT bad. 9hopeful emoticon)

OP posts:
hellebores · 20/08/2008 20:49

Maybe he does feel self-conscious about the size of his bits, but you say he's confident (in bed one assumes?) so it can't be all bad.

Six months not good though was it sex related?

Still, sounds like you're doing the right things, and if he has the hots for you and vice versa.. go girl.. you lucky, lucky thang!

hellebores · 20/08/2008 20:51

sorry, that was a bit nosey about his first W - don't answer that

mummynewname · 20/08/2008 20:55

don't mind answering.

apparently she thought he acted gay!!!! they never had sex on honeymoon even.

dunno what planet she must have been on though, to me he's been every inch (ha! got the irony) a perfect example of hetero-man,
grrr why am I still worried ?

OP posts:
hellebores · 20/08/2008 21:12

tbh I think you are probably worrying about nothing, honestly. If he's shown you that he knows what he's doing when it comes to pleasuring you all right, then I would imagine when it comes to penetrative sex he'll know what he's about.

an ex of mine who was not huge was fantastic, managed to give me an O or let me give myself one while he was inside most times, just by knowing (ahem) which button to press, and if this guy turns you on - your half way there anyway!

mummynewname · 20/08/2008 21:34

Thanks - I am getting my (big) knickers in a twist over this I think.

I will just enjoy him!!

OP posts:
SpandexIsMyEnemy · 20/08/2008 21:41

reckon so - the more you build it up, the less fun it will be.

charliecat · 20/08/2008 21:43

ROFL at this thread
Have fun!

girlnextdoor · 20/08/2008 23:03

will you post back after the event? Please

mocca · 20/08/2008 23:46

I had sex with my new man about 3 months ago after 2 years of celibacy. He's the least well-endowed of any guy I've been with and when I first saw it I thought the same as you do - I'm 50, had a child 8 years ago and really thought it wasn't going to touch the sides! But you know what, he knew exactly what to do with it and I responded and I'm enjoying the best sex of my life. I love him, he's a great lover and size has nothing to do with it! So just go with the flow and as you really seem to like him already, I'm sure you'll both have a lovely experience and many more to come.

mummynewname · 21/08/2008 10:28

I'm glad this has made some of you smile!
Thanks for all the reassurance.

Of course gnd - I will have to post back now.. probably this time next week if the deed has been done by then.

OP posts:
girlnextdoor · 21/08/2008 10:54

Just get on with it- we are all waiting.....

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 21/08/2008 10:55

we deffo are! so about the first time again! lol.

Skramble · 21/08/2008 11:07

I was really nervous about the whole body thing, found the solution was to get shitfaced and switch off the lights. (this did result in him having raw knees and a nearly broken nose where we got so excited and rolled off the bed, he cracked his nose on his lovely bacholar style black metal and glass bedside table, but he carried on like a trouper and it was great, Ok I felt a little guilty when I saw his injuries in the cold light of day, but hey we had a laugh.

TBH honest after being with him for only 4 mths or so I feel more comfortable with the lights on than I ever did with exH (and that was even 10 years after developing a mummy tummy).

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