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Original poster

friend still seething over photo album her difficult inl's compiled for her

65 replies

bigboydiditandranaway · 31/07/2008 12:19

My friend received a photo album last year as a birthday gift from her inl's. It was made at asda i think, the thing is, it has loads of photos of friends inl's even ones that are A4 size, really OTT, with them holding her dd.

My friend finds her inls overbearing, controlling and very difficult, her dh also agrees with this.

Now she has wanted to throw the album in the bin for some time now but hasn't, but she recently had a look for it and found it hidden away in her dh's wardrobe and has asked me what i think she should do, what do you think.

OP posts:

Snaf · 02/08/2008 09:55

She was 'on edge' because she was 'dreading their present'? Good grief. Tell her to put the album away in the back of the cupboard, forget about it and stop looking for reasons to get upset.

[would quite like some orange gingham coasters myself, actually]

evangelina · 02/08/2008 15:38

I can understand your friend being irritated, but her DH did the only reasonable thing in the circumstances. It would be different if it was a big framed picture of them all which they expected her to put up on the wall.

evangelina · 02/08/2008 15:42

I've just remembered that my MIL once put a screen saver of about 30 photos of her, her friends and her with the grandchildren on my computer without asking. I just logged on one day and there they all were. I was in one of them (caught by accident in the background).

zippitippitoes · 02/08/2008 15:43

i think it sounds like a lot of fuss about nothing really she needs to get over it

there are plenty of things happen in life to get stressed about and this kind of thing is just not up there

KiwiKat · 02/08/2008 15:51

If it was a dig, she can beat them at their own game by thanking MIL for it, and saying how much she appreciates all the hard work and time that they spent putting it together. So if MIL did it to annoy her, then that's failed, as your friend doesn't appear annoyed and the MIL has spent all that time and effort for nowt. However, if she genuinely did it to be nice (however misguided) then she'll be pleased that it's appreciated. Either way, your friend wins and comes out with very good grace.

CaptFabioHiltsCatInTheCooler · 02/08/2008 15:55

Knicker elastic.
That's all I have to say.

CuckooClockWorkShy · 02/08/2008 15:55

I think it's nasty of her to demand that he destroys it, simply because it's not to her taste.

Put it away for twenty years, and then give it to her DD, with a knowing and condescending sneer if she can't help herself.

KiwiKat · 02/08/2008 15:56

That said, our grandmother always gave us really weird presents for Christmas. Each year the very last present we opened, all together, was our 'Marnie present', then we all compared whose was the oddest. The year she died, we howled our eyes out at Christmas (and all of us full-grown adults) when we realised that we would never again unwrap anything plastic, orange and shiny, designed to be worn as a shoulder bag ...

TwoBigNorks · 03/08/2008 18:43

now a lavender bag I could use

I rememer the knicker elastic! was it 32 feet or something?

shhhh · 03/08/2008 19:27

thatbiggermanprison is right............file it.................IN THE FECKING BIN .

And as for dd asking for it in years to come... Who will remember in 10 years time and if dd is reminded then just say you can't remember where you placed it etc... After all im sure your friend has lots of pics of her dd already so im sure she won't be so bothered about the missing few of granny or grannies "friends" .

GrapeJelly · 03/08/2008 19:56

If I were your friend I would assume the reasons for giving the album were genuinely good ones, put it away somewhere safe for 18 yrs and in the meantime have a lovely LARGE framed photo of herself, DH and DD made and handed over at Xmas for in laws to hang up. After all, this is obviously the type of present which they like isn't it? Win, win situation, everybody happy, nobody snubbed.

pollyanna · 03/08/2008 20:00

my ils did this too (lots of photos of them holding the baby and some with dh, and not one with me in). I was mildy amused by this tbh rather than seething. I would just forget about it if I were her and shove it back in the wardrobe.

milknosugar · 03/08/2008 20:07

if she is 110% positive it was a dig -

give it to them for xmas. tell them she thought they would appreciate it because it was such a lovely gift they gave her. they wont remember which photos they put in it, if they do they are hardly likeyl to confront her. if they ask to see hers tell them her mum has taken it to show off to friends.

redinthehead · 03/08/2008 21:49

Fulling sympathise with the over-bearing inlaws as have some of them myself, and know how they can make you all bitter and twisted about things that you really wouldnt usually get bothered about! Definately bin it - would imagine it would be quite cathartic. Its not like it was a present to her dd.

nooka · 04/08/2008 06:38

Sorry for being dim but how is this present a dig? I don't have a MIL (she died before dh and I got married), but rarely get birthday presents from anyone (dh included ) I can see that it might not be a very good present, but what sort of message did your friend think her MIL was sending? I'd stick away again and not worry about it until next time your friend runs out of space.

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