Will I ever stop being bitter and jealous over my lack of relationship with Dad?

[Oxygen]

My dad left us for another family when I was 11.

16 years on I should be over this, no?

But I am jealous. I am jealous of the bond my step sisters and their children have with my dad.

I know they have never known another father, it isn't their fault.

But seeing photos on facebook of "family outings" where they are all there, with my dad, and my children are rarely invited hurts so so much. Outings that I can't afford to take my babies on, but they get paid for.

Stepmum has on facebook that her activities/interests are "MY girls and their babies". It hurts. My babies may not be blood relations, but to have it written like that?

I know I should be a grown up. I know things will never change, they never have. I know people have much worse relationships with their parent/s than me.

But its not fair.

How come they get the father and grandfather that he is apparently capable of being, just not for us????

opol - that does not sound harsh in the slightest. It sounds like the words of someone who is wise

Ta moondog, take advantage of those hugs oxygen but most of all you can learn to heal slowly, give yourself those hugs too! A bit cliched but you are the only person who will never leave you.

Hugs for you SCM - another wise mnetter

you're all lovely.

i am now drunk and with a broken tooth. woohoo life.

arse. i'm fabulous at incognito

Oxygen, if it is upsetting you this much I would really suggest telling your Dad. I've heard all you've said about his situation but maybe if you tell him, you could ask him how often he would be happy to meet up with you, on your own, or with your dcs, whatever you prefer.

If you feel he is willing to have this arrangement and IF he sticks to it, then you can at least have some sort of regular contact with him, and have some decent time together.

I agree he sounds weak and goodness knows what, but if you don't ask, you will never know what he might be willing to do. I find directness is the best policy. BTW I tried this with my Dad and he still didn't want to have a closer relationship, but your Dad might. Good luck.

How are you feeling today?

Much much calmer today thank you

Last night was very much the culmination of a shit month.

I'm going to call him later and make plans to meet him on Tuesday night at Bike Night - no idea how many of us will go, but it is something DD has been asking for.