Bloody stupid berk of a BF!!!

[WAStyedye]

He is 4 years younger than me,im livid,as he pesters for sex constantly in bed,wont stop rubbing and stroking,squeeeeezing and patting etc,when im grimly drinking tea,(and im filthy tempered in the mornings),we have been seeing each other for a year,so he should know better.and makes cute remarks about "taking my blouse off later" etc.
Im seeing a consultant at the end of the month,as i appear to be Peri menopausal,even though im not yet 40.My breasts hurt constantly,but he acts sulky if i wear a bra etc in bed.I had sex with him to shut him up the other night,but it was like chucking fuel on the fire,he now thinks if he persists,he can seduce me eventually,even though im flinchy,with my back to him.I just wanted some peace,hes a big bloke,and he sleeps with an arm and leg on me if he can,and kisses me,and "at" me,all the time.He txts me "I love you" several times a day,and phones..he is doing my nut.
He cheerfully said this morning,when talking about going out to dinner with a load of mates he hasnt seen for ages.That when it was pointed out he had lost weight,he said it was healthy eating and loads and loads of sex!Im disgusted by that.

So what are his good points? What keeps you with him?

Really?!!

You don't sound very compatible.

Don't most guys pester for sex?
I know every guy I have ever known does.
The only difference is that current DP will respect me when I say 'You're wasting your time, it's not going to happen'

sorry but pmsl at 'grimly drinking tea'

I pointed out this morning that he had more chance of a wank from the pope.
Yes,Fabio,you obviously relate to "grimly drinking tea"

His good points..mm

He is kind,funny at times.Tries to be empathic,and is a gentle person.
Hes patient..and very good in bed.

Bad points,
Selfish,skinflint,into Larping and online wargames,ie a geek.Pontificates to the point that nobody gets a word in at dinner,talks everyone down,until i have to say something.
No sense of boundaries(reads over my shoulder when im on pc)etc...stares at me sappily and says "Im just admiring the view" (why isnt there a vomit smiley yet?)
Oh,and theres something very "David Brent" about him,lol

I was about to come on here and say you sound completely incompatible, then I remebered something:
When I had been going out with my (now) DH for about a year - actually it was a bit less now I think - I went through something like this. I was scared of letting him in and getting hurt again, so I had a defense mechanism thing of going off him for a while, being irritated by his attention.
Is it possible you are going through something like that? Had things been wonderful up until now?

Oh,and he crawls all over my online profiles(2),adds my friends if he can,and drops little snippets into our conversations about what ive been doing,til i called him a stalker!

All i know for sure is that he is driving me insane Salzisi...

Hes filmed us while we were making love before,without my knowledge,i didnt like it.

If you are for real, then it's quite clear you don't fancy him and don't really like him .Filming you without your consent is a total violation and he deserves to be dumped for that.

Being grossed out and put off by his advances shows that you are not attracted to him.

I'm a bit dubious about this post tho - if you are for real I apologise but this sounds a bit made up

until you said he had filmed you when you were shagging without your knowledge I was going to say that it sounded like he loved you and was useless at communicating it in an appropriate way

and that you may (very understandably) at the moment with being peri menopausal have some letting him in/intimacy issues

now, obviously, I think he's a bit of a twonk - i would be very unimpressed with the filming shag stuff

Having re-read it I think you are genuine, so sorry! You don't even like this man, do you. Get rid! There is a man out there who you will fancy and like and who won't spy on you or film you without your knowledge [grossed out emoticon]

Ive changed my name,as i thought i had before i opened this thread.

My last partner was abusive,this one isnt,but is emotionally,about 15.Hes a nice chap,but a prick.God knows why he thinks he can behave this way...I have a 17 year old son with more sense.
He uploaded pictures onto a social site we both use,ones i sent to him,when "loved up" not lewd,but smiley "from me to you" stuff,and he published them..i went bananas.

He is a dick head isnt he?

I feel like he wants to brand me like a fertile cow

Dump the dickhead.

Last time i tried.he had hysterics,and i mean,snot,sobbing,etc...yes,i know.Its over.

So you're only with him out of pity?

I suppose it would be too harsh to say - "I want to break up with you, but last time you were so pathetic that I stayed out of pity. Do you want me to carry on staying with you because I feel sorry for you, or are you ready to accept that I don't want you and we can both move on?"

Ooh,pull your punches(wince),precisely why i tossed this onto the mumsnet community.We can dish it out,but might not take it...

Oh, I've taken worse than that in the past! That's positively tactful compared to some things!

This might be a very comedic place to say he is into painting warhammer figures...me a contemporary artist too,sigh...

So what are you going to do?

He needs a 20 year old geekess,im too sharp,and busy for such crap,i have 4 kids,i dont need 5

So what are you going to do?

I do feel sorry for you, you know. It is rotten to be in a relationship that you know in your heart of hearts, is pants.