Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I am so sad, DH thinks I am being unreasonable.................. But I don't!

43 replies

crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 21:48

DH has been away for 3 nights, he came home last night(teatime). We have 3 DDs, eldest is 14.

Eldest DD went up to bed 10 mins before we did, about 9.45pm.

Within minutes DH started to get a bit (well you know what I mean!)......

I explain very quietly but clearly that eldest DD is still awake, our bedroom door is open and her bedroom is not only next to ours but also her door is open! So basically I said NO! He told me to get a grip, I told him to grow up! He walked off in a huff and has hardly spoke to me since! he has spent the entire evening in the Study!

We have been together for 20 years, married for 16 years!

Am I being unreasonable and reacting over the top?

OR

Is DH, in wanting sex when we both knew that eldest DD was still awake?

Please be honest as I would really like to know the answer!

Thanks

Sorry, I have name changed for this as I hate talking about things like this and currently seeing someone to help me over these issues!

OP posts:
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 21:50

erm tough one. could you not have closed the door and kept him waiting a bit?

traceybath · 04/07/2008 21:51

Could you have just shut your door and been quiet?

I'd have felt awkward though if thought she could hear.

Did you perhaps a little more seduction generally?

traceybath · 04/07/2008 21:52

sorry 'want' a little more seduction.

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 21:53

go jump hin now and cheer him up

Original poster
crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 21:53

If we had shut the bedroom door, then she would have known we were up to something!

OP posts:
Original poster
crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 21:54

No way! he has more or less ignored me since last night!

Plus DD is still up!

OP posts:
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 21:55

well when you goto bed then lol

she will be bit clued up but i can see why you were bit off put

if it were my dh think he would be gagging for it too

Tortington · 04/07/2008 21:57

if the kids are in bed - why can't you just fuck him in the study?
or kitchen?
or living room?

Tortington · 04/07/2008 21:58

and you should have shut the door - sow hat if she knows you are up to something

theres nowt wrong with it - she isn't three

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 21:58

yeah thats true. nowt wrong with the couch lol

Pollyanna · 04/07/2008 21:59

well I don't have children that old, but what is wrong with them realising that you have sex?

couldn't you have just shut the door and got on with it? quietly.

Original poster
crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 22:00

To be honest, he was only away for 3 nights, he never bothered to contact us while he was away! He had had his oats before he went!

OK, so I could have put him off for an hr or so, but I was shattered, doing the work of 2 parents while he was away, plus working, etc etc etc......

To be honest as soon as he went downstairs last night, I think I was pretty much asleep, I certainly didnt hear him come back to bed!

OP posts:
Original poster
crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 22:02

I heard my parents and it was gross!

I WOULD NEVER EVER PUT ANY OF MY DDS THROUGH THAT!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 22:03

well there you go, you answered your q yourself
i would be gagging for it myself though, something about absence makes the heart grow fonder or the libido not sure

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 22:04

haha i walked in on my dad and step mum !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shudders

i had the its natural talk

bite the pillow

Desiderata · 04/07/2008 22:04

Yes, I heard my mum have sex with her boyfriend once when I was about seven.

I can't remember anything else about being seven, except that!

Original poster
crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 22:08

I know its natural etc etc.

But I like just to think its between me and DH, not me, DH and DD.

If you knew DD then you would know how sensitive she can be. Honest, I am not making that bit up, if DH ever kisses me infront of her, she gets all funny and embarrassed.

OP posts:
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 22:09

ahh bless her shes just that age

make it up to him tonight so what if you are ot talking... i am sure that if you came downstair ready for your bed with just you dressing gown and sat on him i doubt he would complain... or would he?

Desiderata · 04/07/2008 22:10

I agree with your reticence, Crunch.

However much we, as adults, like to say it's a natural act, etc., children just don't like it, and that's that.

It was ever thus. We can argue the toss (pardon the expression) until the cows come home, but it will never alter the universal fact of the matter. And it colours their memories of you .. so sex between parents should always be kept very much under wraps.

Original poster
crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 22:12

LOL YNKIMF,, He would think that all his birthdays had come at once!

Unfortunately that would not help my dilema of last night!

OP posts:
YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 04/07/2008 22:13

LOL

Original poster
crunchcruncher · 04/07/2008 22:14

Thank you Des, I appreciate what you are saying.

OP posts:
MrsMargolyes · 04/07/2008 23:38

Oh deary me. I hate to judge another's bedtime scenario but what a shame he got all huffy !!

Couldn't he wait a small time for the house to be nice and quiet and you a little more ready for him? No-one would wish for a listening audience surely when getting hot and bothered marriagely (real word?)

MrsMargolyes · 04/07/2008 23:40

Oh but apart from that, you both deserve congratulations to be so desirable to one another after 20 years!!

beaniesteve · 04/07/2008 23:43

Is this the first time you have had this dilemma? :unsure:

I'm with whoever said fuck him in the study.