Finding out my boyfriend cheated 2 weeks before I’m due to give birth

[mermaid2024]

My c section is scheduled for 2 weeks time and I found out my boyfriend met up with a girl last week and went shopping with her. We also have a 2 year old. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with a newborn and 2 year old and fresh from a c section. I just don’t want to be around him and I’m so disgusted that he’s done something like this. He’s my entire support system and financially seen as I left work a few months ago before our second came. I just feel so stuck and mentally exhausted. Any advice on what I should do?

I'm assuming this is someone he hid from you and hooked up with rather than just shopping with the female friend which should be fine?

They’d been speaking for 3 weeks and he was very flirtatious in there conversations. I spoke with her and she said nothing happened when they went shopping but he did it behind my back, lied about where he was at the time & had been speaking to her for weeks suggesting date ideas and buying her stuff

What a charmer 🙄 yep that's definitely not on. I think if I was you I'd bide my time until I was physically healed for the c section (assuming you can't go to other family) and then break up with him.

Oh dear this relationship is doomed. Pull back emotionally, get things lined up to leave but maybe for the next year until you’re back on your feet, make sure he shares the care of your children while you are still under the same roof. He sounds extremely immature

Id agree with this simply for the help factor. Unless your mum is around to help. Sounds like a creep though. Good luck

I'm so sorry OP. Flirting with another woman and asking her out on dates when you are pregnant and so near giving birth is just absolutely the lowest of the low. It doesn't matter if anything " happened" while they were out together because his intention for something to happen is very clear. A real betrayal of you.

I think @Gingerbreadseasoniscoming
Is right. You need to concentrate on your birth and then make plans to end the relationship because you will never be able to trust him

It’s just infuriating that I have to be trapped now. I just want to get out and now I can’t because of the kids. It’s like he’s the best of both worlds. It’s awful honestly. I’m worried that because I’m going to be so emotional and it’s going to be what’s supposed to be a happy time I’ll take him back but I really don’t want to

This is why we choose the bear.

Sorry OP. He sounds very immature. Do you know his wider family? Tbh he sounds like he needs a good dressing down from his mum.

Me and his mum don’t get on so that’s just a dead end road. They don’t even help with the 2 year old we have now.

He got you trapped then felt confident you won’t leave so he could cheat.

He hooked up with someone secretly to go shopping???

Yes ridiculous. He’s been wanting to go out because he’s been doing well at work and making good money and because I’m high risk pregnancy we haven’t been able to do anything. So I believe he did it to scratch the itch of just wanting to go out with someone because I can’t. Which is even more evil. I’m in this condition making his child and it still doesnt explain the weeks of chatting

Tell him to fuck off to his mother's, and he can go out all he likes with whoever he likes.

Have a friend or family member come and stay when you've had the C-section, if there really isn't anyone you can ask that you know pay someone.

If he has been doing well at work and has money to burn, he can afford it.

You are not trapped because you have two young children, yes, it's obviously far more difficult than if you were single, but don't let that stop you splitting up from him and making a much better life for yourself.

Oh, it was just shopping. I've changed my mind. Shopping is fine, stop being controlling.

What do you mean " just shopping ".
His partner is about to give birth to their second child and he is pursing another woman: exchanging flirty messages, complimenting her and asking her out on dates. And you think that's acceptable?
Absolutely amazing.

Must be him on a burner account right haha

Im sorry you are going through this especially when vulnerable.
How did you find out about this?
What was your DH response as to why he betrayed your trust ?
Do you have any support IRL who could help you through the coming weeks?

🤦‍♀️

I do this with guys at work now and then too. No pregnancy involved though. If she can't hit the town it's not to say he cant.

There is shopping and then there's sex and shopping. This is JUST shopping. She is doing him a favour. The itch is scratched. No man wants to be seen shopping alone, they just look weird.

Maybe immature, but he isn't dating her as the woman herself has confirmed.

Does anyone really believe it was ‘just’ shopping?!

He didn’t buy anything he just spent money on her

He fell asleep and I went to take a silly picture on his phone and I saw her message come up.

that’s what he texted me this morning.

”I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you this last month of your pregnancy, not one part of you deserved this and it’s best you know that there’s no excuse that could ever make this right it’s about me taking accountability of knowing I have no business speaking to another female, or doing any activity with them regardless of how it went. I love you, and I always will. I just want you to have a safe delivery of our baby boy into this world then I’m happy to fall into the way you want me to be in your life. Even if that means just being there for when I’m needed whilst you heal. I love you and I’m really happy genuinely that I don’t have to lie to myself, I’m not in a spiritual war. I’m intelligent enough to understand the pit I would’ve put myself in IF I went in actually wanting something from her. But I don’t want or need anything from her. I need and want EVERYTHING from you though ❤️”

I take it you are enjoying winding people up.
Or do you really think it's acceptable for a man supposedly in a monogamous relationship with the mother of his child, who is about to give birth to chase other women and ask them out on dates?

I wonder what the partners and wife's of the men at your work that you go out shopping with think about it. Or like OP's partner do they also only do it in secrecy?

It might look bad, but that's all it is, just a look.

Nothing has happened sexually. He might as well have been out with his own sister.