How good is your single life

[1983Louise]

My husband passed away a couple of years ago after 37 years of marriage. I've dipped my toe into dating but it just made me anxious and stressed. I know I'm not ready for a relationship but what has surprised me is how I'm enjoying single life for the first time in nearly 40 years. The calm and peacefulness of home, chosing what to do on a quiet day, meeting new people and getting events in my diary, I could become addicted to it x

Hi no I'm early 60s, still life in my bones and I'm looking forward to this new chapter in life x

Eh? I think your maths is off a bit.

She could've married at 20 and is now 59!

DH died in June after thirty years of marriage. I'm early 60s and enjoying the peace and not having to rush home to care for him. It's taking some getting used to. It helps that I get a slab of his military pension so don't have money worries, even though it's a few more years till I get state pension.

I’ve been single for 15 years and I love it. As @@LumberPainJackie says, it’s incredibly liberating and peaceful.

Ive been married three times, the longest marriage was 20 years and Ive realised I cant cope with living with people. Its just too stressful.
Luckily I am financially independant and have my own home so I dont need anyone.

And the anticipation of being naughty again 😀

Tell me more…. I’m long term single and I’m not bothered about ever having another relationship and I sure as hell wouldn’t cohabit again, but I really miss sex. I had a FWB and that suited me really well, but he was someone I’d been friends with for ages. I wouldn’t know where to start trying to find a new and younger one and I worry about personal safety.

Oh yes 🤩

Oh no, hideous thought.

oh yes indeedee

Im with you there! I was in my 45 when I became single. Menopause wiped out my labido and I've never missed it!

I was the same it's come back as widows fire, that was something I didn't know about until it happened lol

It's very good for all the reasons already given. I have no wish to find a partner and love that I can live how I choose without compromise.

I’ve been single since 2010 and I have never been happier! In my sixties now and I absolutely cannot be bothered with men.

My single life is so peaceful and free from drama.

I too enjoyed my stints being single, although I am married now. But when single, I had the prettiest flats, all managed by me, real nicely done up, warm, cosy. I had who I liked round and was completely in charge. I had beautiful restful Sundays with my cat, and late Friday night parties.

I always say to women who are newly single that it is a stage which could end (if you get with someone) so enjoy it while you can.

That's very true, a friend who's now married was single for about 6 years. She told me she wished she'd enjoyed it more rather than looking for another man all the time x

Much better than my non single life. I've had two long term partners - polar opposites and I did not enjoy leaving with either. Like a pp i think I find living with someone else stressful.

I never forget what I saw on a TikTok post 'You're probably the first woman in your lineage to be able to be single, enjoy it' and 'Single life is a luxury not a death sentence'.

I adore my singledom. Yes It's expensive and now and again I miss one or two (very) little things that come with partnership.

But it would take something very special to prize me out of my independent life now.

I love that and it's right, we're the lucky ones that get to choose our own lifestyle. It's very power to think like that x

Ive been single 13 years and love it, not changing it either.

The common denominator in these threads is Love singledom, But miss intimacy. It's a common theme amongst my friends too whether widowed or divorced. I've never heard of widows fire before.

I’ve been single for many years after I decided that I just didn’t want the drama and angst anymore as I found it all too upsetting (turns out I’m neuro diverse). But this year at age 56, I reconnected with the most wonderful man and we are very happy together. We live in different countries (which is why we split up many years ago in our early 20s) but that actually seems to work well now as it means we both have our freedom living separately but we are there to support each (by phone etc) and when we do actually meet up, we have the best time. I feel like I have the best of both worlds right now.

I hadn't until it happened to me, if you Google it, it'll explain it better than I can x

I’m a newly minted widow too. Albeit somewhat older.
Finally settled into being permanently and perfectly ok with being on my own. The only downside is having to pay all the bills on my own - council tax discount is only 25%! Etc.

So many pluses to being single, I cannot think of anything a man could bring to enhance or just compliment my life to be honest. My husband wasn’t perfect, neither am I, but I’m not giving up what I’ve built for myself to another human.

It's another story and another thread for some other time but that makes a lot of sense now.