Am shaking can't believe he has done this

[susie100]

Just found DP's phone bill on the kitchen table was using it to scribble down a number whilst on the phone and saw a number again and again (national rate) He has been calling it every day, sometimes for hours at a time. Called it and it is some live chat line. He has been spending hours on it. Just called him and told him and he said he is bored sometimes and it means nothing.

I am staggered we have a good sex life and thought we were very happy. How can I trust him? These are real women so how do I know he has not been meeting them. I am shaking and feel betrayed. He says it means nothing.

I am overeacting?

Aah,my stance on this: anything to do with paying a woman for sexual things is creepy behaviour from the man. It's sex gone wrong, it's using women and not treating them with dignity. Zero tolerance I'm afraid. And not normal English family man behaviour. I would chuck him out.

helpful & insightful post salla

English family man behaviour?????? eh?

People are wasting their time on these useless men who are the subject of most of these threads here. Majority of men are intelligent and loving, but judging by Mumsnet this country is full of unfaithful creeps. Perhaps this not the right site for me, must change to my native Finnish family sites I think. Or leave the parenting sites altogether, as I'm getting bored with righteous mothers.

don't let the door close on your fat arse when you leave does anyone know the finnish for wanker?

salla, you sound a bit righteous yerself!
chuck him out break up a family without even talking..

Hello , I have experienced this.
My ex-husband actually!
I didnt find out through a phone bill, I actually found out through looking through the call list on his mobile phone.
I was feeling a little insecure anyway so I decided to look through his mobile when he was in the shower. Im so glad I did.
I called the first number and it was a sex chat line, I was shocked as it was something he had hidden from me. I was shaking with anger too , I know exactly how you feel suzie100. Personally I never minded that my ex watched porn , I had an open mind about it, but the phone calls upset me because he was actually talking to another female about sex. It really hurt as it was something he lied about, when I asked him about it before.

Unfortunately my ex was a lying cheating , pig and in the months to follow I discovered he was emailing other women and texting other women, he even had an affair.
I found this all out for myself of course as he kept promising he wouldnt do these things again over end over.Fortunately I divorced him and I am now with someone I completely trust, however he sometimes watches porn etc but it doesnt bother me as I see it seperate to our sex life and because he is so open and honest about it. I notice that the more cool I am about him watching it the less he cares about watching it!! men! strange fish!!

I think you need to talk to him and tell him it hurts you. All men are different he might just be using the sex lines for fantasy alot of men do. I think its the fact that he has used them in the past and promised you he wouldnt again. When someone breaks a promise to you it breaks the trust you had in them. I would be more hurt about the broken promise than anything.

By the way please do not listen to salla!!! she is a frutloop obviously!!!

Thanks for the backup gals.
Salla - I don't quite put this in the camp of being unfaithful I think throwing him out would be an exageration!!

Not that reassured by all the ex husbands doing this...hmmmm

Anyway we have agreed I can se his phone and bills whenever I want and seems to be genuinely sorry. After the first time he did not do it for 3 yrs. Jazminpoppy you have summed up exactly how I feel about it - hurt cos you are talking about sex with another woman.

Anyway will keep you posted!

Hey, are you serious, the man in WANKING in the back garden, and you telling me I'm exaggerating. For the love of bejesus, there is surely TIME AND PLACE for doing that, privately in your own bed like you did when you were a teenager. I just have to say I do not believe half of the threads I read here, or I am just married to a really boring ordinary guy! I am genuinely sorry that women have to be married to these egotistical bricks, mine is bloody ordinary and low brow but he has got some bloody manners.

You are funny salla

salla, he is just good at hiding his stash of porn and phones sex lines from a phone box!

I discovered that my husband was using a msn account for sex chat.. as he came to be really late 6am one morning and was obviously too tired to remember to delete his cookies!! he also has used sex chat lines.. of which i discovered via his online phone bill. I did talk to him about both, at first he was shocked that i had 'discovered' this, and promised not to do it again. im not a prude, and dont care if he watches porn, its just the one to one stuff that fecks me off. I dont get it.. our sex life is great, and he is ott highly sexed, but jeeze he has lied again more premium rate sex chat.. but he has blatantly lied this time, I asked him if he would ever do it again, 'no darling of course not' was the reply. I dont trust him now, now it hurts. What should i do? x

Susie100 - How is it going?
Have you managed to work things out yet

My marriage was shot in many ways, but we got on well so I had no real idea. I dont want to witter on here but you are welcome to contact me privately if you want the gory details

Note to myself - must remember to update my MN subscription. If I get round to it and pay then I will contact you if you like

Hi Susie - not sure if anyone has suggested this but howabout he texts you when he feels like this

Hi guys, just realised this thread is still going.

Nik76 I have suggested exactly that and in some ways it has made me realise I have been neglecting him a bit - have been out in the evenings a lot, very preoccupied and busy and has made me take a breather and spend some time together, evenings together etc.

Yurtgirl - thanks for thinking of me, seems to be going ok for now. We had some long chats about it all and have had a really fun couple of weeks and I have not brought it up. He says I can check his phone and bill whenever I want but strangely I have not felt the urge to do so. Our relationhips otherwise is fab and have never doubted his love or respect for me so this did come as a bit of a suprise!! Am glad you are now with a nice dp (or did I get that wrong?) I don't have the CAT thing either how do you get that?

RachelAnna I know how you are feeling it is very upsetting I don't think you should take it personally at all. He may just be very horny all the time but can you talk to him about how it makes you feel and ask him to prove to you he is no longer doing it (show you cookies, not delete them etc). Is he remorseful?

Thanks for all the suggestions on here they have been so helpful and really helped at a hard time (although I realise compared to lots of people of this section they are hugely trivial)

Really pleased for you and glad its all worked out for the best!!!!

sorry havent read all the posts so i maybe repeating what others have said but they all have 'real life people' on too. except they are not real life people!! iyswim!! and its unlikely he got through to the same woman each time even if it was the same number.