Taken advantage of by my family

[Silvernutmeg70]

I've just sold my house down south, put my furniture in storage and moved in with my parents temporarily in the north while I look for a house to buy there. I wanted a fresh start after my youngest child started uni and I no longer needed to be near my ex to co-parent. I was in a relationship that was going nowhere so I'd had enough of that too I'd hoped to take some time (finally) to rest and focus on myself for a change, do a yoga retreat, reconnect with friends, etc. Instead, my move has coincided with my sister becoming seriously ill after complications after routine surgery, so I've ended up having to look after her children while she recovers, as I am self-employed and work from home. Her ex took some time off work but needs to go back now. My parents pretty much volunteered me for this role. Had I been asked I would've said yes but I wasn't given that courtesy, it was just assumed. The thing is, there's no one else who can really help. My parents are elderly with health issues and my other siblings work in employed roles and don't live nearby. It could be weeks before my sister is discharged but she'll then need rehab. I've been putting my life on hold for years to get my own children through school/college, now I'm having to do it for my nieces. I feel for my sister of course, but really want to forge ahead with my plans to buy a house and start living my life for me for the first time in decades, not feel like everyone's personal slave. Am I being unreasonable here?

How sad? Well of course their dad isn't going to step up if op does it all! Sometimes you need to stand your ground.

I would tell everyone that your work is about to be a lot more demanding and you will not be able to manage the kids. I am certain that their dad could go to the school, the council and the hospital social worker and be entitled to some kind of funding for emergency childcare, etc. This is not your problem to resolve.

Take care about when you create some boundaries here, if she leaves hospital, and they are able to create a discharge plan where you're the solution basically, for her care, it'll be a lot harder to sort things out to get her any other help. From experience, if the nhs etc can possibly dump care on a relative, they will (it was assumed that I'd care for my elderly mum, including taking her for an injection at 9 every morning, when I lived 30 miles away, worked full time, and was the sole parent for 2 primary school age children...).
So you need to be very clear that you won't be able to look after her by that point, and a suitable plan will be needed.

No but can see that happening in future.

You need to be very clear with everyone that what help you can offer is very time limited and the ex needs to step up and sort his shit out and be prepared to be a single parent as you are not able to carry on beyond x weeks after which you will only be able to do x & y. Where are his family in all of this?

He only has his dad who lives at the other end of the country and his brother also lives far away, works full time and has his own young children.

Then the ex will need to look at his life and step up like lots of other single parents do.

@Silvernutmeg70 I think you need to move away. Maybe New Zealand

I would help out my sister in a heartbeat in this situation but as everyone else has said, the whole family needs to step up. Dad needs to get stuck in, this should be the making of him. Tell him that his children need him, and that they will remember whether or not he stepped up for the rest of their lives.