Am I falling out of love?

[Banoffee89]

Been with my partner 2 years, both in our 30s and I really miss the early days when we would meet for dates and inwas excited to see him. We don't live together but he stays a few times a week. We do still go out on dates.
Some of the noises he makes grate on me , he also burps constantly after having a drink , he does it inward to be polite but it's still really annoying as I can still hear it. He has no idea how much he does it..
He's also put on weight , I also have started reminiscing about when I used to date different men from the apps, it was exciting and I sort of miss it.
He's a great guy and treats me very well , just don't know if this is a phase or if I am genuinely not feeling it anymore. I don't want to break up with him and regret it. I'm just really confused.

It sounds more like that initial new relationship energy and infatuation has gone and you don't love him.

This burping lark is the thin edge of the wedge.
I reckon, given more time, you’ll find more & more to give you the ick.
Finish it now if you are already thinking about your previous dating days. Your head’s in the wrong space for your current bloke.

I'd end this.
It's not going to improve and you're already pissed off with him.

The excitement does go, that's normal. It comes and goes throughout a long relationship. I wouldn't be ending things with someone who treats me well because someone burps a lot and I'm getting a bit bored.

I would end things with someone whose burping is already pissing me off.

The things you tolerate at the start breed contempt and discontent later.

You've only been with him for 2 years and he's already getting on your nerves. And you don't even live together. Time to call it a day.

He's not the man for you!

Maybe you are. Being 'in love' usually lasts about 6 months to 2 years, then the calmer, longer lasting love begins. I found it useful to learn this as I used to think a relationship had burned out once it entered the steadier phase.

But it shouldn't be that you lose the excitement and it is replaced by boredom and bad habits and complacency. It should be a timee to make plans together, to support each other reaching goals in career or interests etc.

If he is burping and putting on weight, maybe he needs to overhaul his diet, if these are the only things bothering you. Worth mentioning, or suggesting you both start working out together.

End it.
You are not compatible.
The personal habits bugging you already means you can never live with him.
The burping would bug me too.
Personal habits like this kill marriages.
Look at any postings on passion killers, and eating and personal habits are right up there.

However nice a guy he is, how ever well he treats you, it will not overcome your irritation at these things.
I have two sons that were reared with excellent table manners.
However, though living and eating alone, I see slippage.
I have warned them about the above!

The ick has set in.

Romantic love usually isn’t forever. If you marry them and it starts to have an ebb and flow then maybe it’s worth waiting a bit and working at it…but two years in, nah. Time to go. Love doesn’t always mean forever. Sometimes it just means great for a while.

I've been seeing a bloke for 4 months now ,he only ever sees me between 11am and 4pm he doesn't want sex and he never stays over at mine and I've never been to his place we are both retired ,he says he likes to keep his evenings free ...

Going against the grain but this sounds pretty normal to me. It's normal for things to get less exciting when the honeymoon period is over. If he's a great guy and treats you well then that's the important thing. I wouldn't rush to end this.

How is he burping so much! I rarely burp and if I do, nobody would know. I hate burping that I know is happening and I would finish this. We know a 10 yo girl that burps in the most theoretical way like she’s entering Guinness world book of records, I want to cry when she had a sprite!

He’s married.

We never go on dates either

What's that got to do with the price of fish?

If you want advice about this, start your own thread.

Your boyfriend is obviously married BTW

@StarDolphins I feel the same, when he's had a fizzy drink or a beer, I want to cry as I know what's coming . I've no idea how he burps so much , I have a coke and I'm fine. It so off-putting and see definitely not a normal amount

Such a difficult dilemma. I’d be so miserable in your situation. Besides him treating you well, what makes you two compatible? Are you enjoying him when you’re not annoyed?

can you go on holiday? Might inject some spark back into things?

Dump him now. If it's mainly the burping, would he go to the doctor about it? His reaction to that request will be revealing. He might have a stomach disorder eg H Pylori infection.

Though saying that, I get the ick from an adult drinking fizzy pop, so....

Just end it and start meeting new men again, why not?

@Banoffee89 You've got the ick.
No going back. Move on.

It's a really difficult one because he does treat me so well, the best any guy has ever treated me, he's thoughtful, romantic, always wants to help me. Yet here I am half fantasizing about dating other men, what the hell is wrong with me. I know if we do end , then I probably won't meet anyone as kind as him again.
The burping and the weight gain does bother rme though. I also sometimes wish he was a bit more quick witted and made me laugh
We do have a laugh together but it's not really him making me laugh, it's just us laughing about something

Just one perspective op but it shouldn’t be this difficult so early on! Don’t settle for the ok but mediocre. You need to respect your life partner.

And speaking as someone who has been married for over thirty years, no one is perfect but you need to absolutely love and embrace every single bit of them to get you through the hard stuff of life later on.

I still feel happiness when I hear my dh’s key in the door and some of his mannerisms have only started to irritate me recently, now my oestrogen levels are falling off a cliff 😃😆.

The point is op, if you loved your bf madly, wildly and completely, you wouldn’t notice the weight gain or the coughing! This is a sign that it’s time to move on! And you don’t need to feel guilty about splitting up with him either. No man wants a woman staying with them out of guilt or pity, so you will be doing him a favour in the long term.

PS Sounds as if he got a bit too comfortable with you too soon. You need a man with a bit more drive and ambition perhaps? A bit more spontaneity. Kindness isn’t enough by itself and should be a non-negotiable anyway.

PPS Your bf’s coughing may be acid reflux caused by his weight gain but it needs checking out.

Good luck op 💐

Out of interest op, why do you not go and stay with him sometimes?