Can I ever be forgiven?

[handlewithcare]

10 years ago I made a major mistake which hurt my sister deeply. I was young, and quite messed up, very insecure, and niave.
My sister 'forgave' me, I spent the last 10 years trying to be a better person, and think I am. I try to be thoughtful, caring, considerate and non judgemental. I don't lie or cheat, and have tried to do everything I can to help and support my sister. We are close, we spend quite a bit of time together. I thought things were ok, but on our way home from a night out to celebrate my birthday at the weekend she just lost it. She said she doesn't like me as a person, that she has done so much for me and that I am just a creep and that I am fake. I haven't spoken to her since. I feel devastated that for all this time she has felt this way and never told me. I love her so much, I still feel horrible for what I did, but I am a different person now and I thought we had moved on. I don't know what to do next. Btw I have namechanged.

Was just going to post but from your last post it's clear now why it has all suddenly come back for her.

Totally agree she's better off without him.

I hope you two can get past this and be close again. He sounds like a scumbag.

What a scumbag he is!!! Honestly the lowest of the low, he sounds like a real creep.

I think its really positive that you admitted it to your sis straight away, that shows who the better person is.

I think that this has boiled her brain for years and with a drink in her she has probably blurted it out, years of feeling crap in her own head. Don't think she is only angry with you though, I am sure she has given him his fair share of hell for what he did over the years.

I honestly think you need to talk to your sister. If she asks you questions, then answer them, if she is mad with you, then let her be mad. I think she needs to be allowed to let out all of her feelings about this and only then might she be able to move on from it. I can't believe she is still with him! That's her choice though.

If anyone has ever been cheated on, you will know what it does to your head and how long the bitterness can last. My ex's granny was 70 when her husband died and all she could talk about was about a time 35 years previously when he had had an affair, no one ever knew about it till he died so it was a shock. What I am saying is that your sister might only be able to get over this if she splits with her hubby, these things run so deep. Sorry, if that sounds bad, it's not meant to, I'm just trying to illustrate why ur sis has said this after such a long time.

You are her sister, blood is thicker than water, you were young and you truly are very sorry for what you done. That means a lot. I really feel bad for you. We all make mistakes and I hope that if you can talk to her, she might someway find some strength to walk away from this creep. You did not do this to her. HE done it to you BOTH. Remember that.

Sorry, I missed your last post before I wrote mine.

Thank God he has shown himself to be the creep he really is, a$$hole!!!

Honestly, I am positive you two can work this out without him in the picture, catch up on your sister relationship and be there for her like you say. I breathed a sigh of relief when I just read your post.

Good luck with this!