Husband applied for a job as a train driver without telling me.

[MuffWat]

Husband applied for a job as a train driver without telling me....
I'm a bit confused, is it normal for people to apply for a radically different career without discussing with their spouses??! He's currently found an office job. I don't think he got the train job as it's been 8 weeks since the application and he hasn't heard anything, and has just decided to tell me now.

Driving trains is a REALLY cool job! 🚂

This is not that different from when I watched too much Spooks and applied to MI5 without telling my DH. I was quite gutted to not hear back from them. I agree with @TerrysNeapolitan it's a cool job AND it has fantastic benefits.

I may be out of date but it used to be insanely difficult to get into. A friend of mine worked in the rail industry for 20 years before getting accepted. I wouldn't read too much into him not sharing an application, it might be a bit of a pipe dream.

What secrecy? It was a long shot and he did not want to jinx it. Secrecy is accepting a job offer that requires a house move or involves extreme danger without any discussion. I applied to NASA to be an astronaut and only told my husband when I got rejected.

I think you and I would get on well!

Unless there is something not being disclosed here, like DH is actually blind, then I can't see what he's supposedly done wrong.

We would do some crazy shit.

Are you always criticising him or acting as if he’s done something wrong or not to your liking? I’m asking because he hasn’t really done anything wrong and that’s how you’re being. So maybe that’s why he doesn’t talk to you openly.

Our marriage would be seriously risked if my husband decided to apply for jobs with hours I’d have to work around for our family without consulting me.

If it was a life long dream career, or a long shot or something, I would see it as something he might not want to talk about until it was firmed up from a not getting hope perspective.

I wouldn't really care about the applying, people can apply for all sorts, sometimes it's just nice to know you're still wanted in the job market. But if he took it when it was a material change to our lives (like shift work/much longer hours/different schedule/less money) without discussing I'd be reconsidering the relationship.

I agree - it would be completely different if he had taken the job.

accepting a job that has an impact on family life is not the same as taking a punt on applying for it. I wouldn't be concerned.