Just lost my shit with partner

[Mancity08]

I had enough, I just want to be on my own be my own boss

Been together 23 yrs , quite a few ups & downs in that time always very similar things that cause the fall outs
Todays was
i ordered two Roman blinds for kitchen then ones you don’t have to drill (only did that because he’d say I’m not drilling into upvc)
anyway, I can’t get it to click like it says it should to stay tight. Something that should of took 20 mins took well over an hour plus a phone call to company.
I had them out when he came home and he went to help me out them up. He’s like a gently giant !
everything is softly softly or weighing it up longer than necessary and I have to say push it or hit it harder.
Anyway, blinds aside, whilst the steps were out I went to move the spot lights at angles as they were all set in downward position
He turns round and says “they look stupid like that at angles”
I said, “there not meant to be facing down at the floor”
Everything I do in the house he has something to comment on it, don’t know about that colour, I think it looks ok, it doesn’t need it

Another thing last week
Had guy out for flooring , because off quarry tiles down in kitchen we need screeding done.
He now says doesnt want carpet shop to do screeding, what’s professional floor company to do it 😡 I lost it then and told him he can source one, that was last week - nothing done
If I don’t do anything(updating,maintenance) nothing would ever get done round the house.
i spent today going to 3 vinyl shops for flooring otherwise it will just get left like it is. I also looked for kitchen drainer/bin , need a new colour now.
Im running around, whilst he’s not interested or doesn’t even think about finishing a job off in the house. Everything is half finished or something needs fixing and he just ignores it and would spend his day going out for a coffee.

Were both late 60’s /73
That’s all he does when he goes out himself is for a coffee . He’s been sat/sun and today 🤦‍♀️
other than that he goes tennis maybe twice a week A.M then coffee in the afternoon if we’re not going out to the shops together (then I feel obligated to have a coffee)

Im so angry and pissed off
AIBU ?

Sorry you've had a hard time on this thread OP

You could easily be describing my dad - early 70s, completely passive, has outsourced all decision making to my mother and would sit on his phone all day eating cheese if left unattended

Because I'm a millennial, I actually armchair diagnose this as trauma - unable to initiate/create/take ownership or responsibility for anything. Not through fear or laziness but a genuine 'i wouldn't know how to'

Unless men have a role model to show them how to have a happy, healthy life in retirement, they don't know how to action this

They have been so focused on the structure and routine of working so have been able to outsource their purpose

My sympathies OP - hopefully you can find a way to take ownership of your home and space (as you have been doing) and accept he's simply unlikely to change at this point