Friend makes me wait around the corner

[Cactusandmarshmallows]

Interested in advice on this one. One of my closest friends is a man I work near, we’re in the same building but not at the same job. We’ve been friends for many years and I’m happily married etc. We meet up for lunch semi-regularly and always have. About 6 months ago he started seeing a workmate of mine which is great as I really like her and he seems happy.

It was all fine at first but the last few times we’ve meet he’s asked me not to wait in the lobby where we’d usually meet, but outside and around the corner, and he always looks all shifty until we get away from work and he relaxes. I asked him if everything is ok and if his new partner is ok with me hanging out with him and he said it’s fine, and he initiates lunches as much as I do, but continues to ask me to meet him around the corner.

That’s weird, right? I’m just not sure how to approach it as I value his friendship but don’t want to feel like a dirty secret!

It feels to me almost like she's said she isn't a fan of the friendship and has told him to ditch you but he doesn't want to so he's keeping you as a clingon

Have you never thought to invite her along and get to know her better

Ever thought of actually being direct ? If you’re such good friends then it will be easy enough to ask why his behaviour is so weird

Considering he’d never hidden you before it’s obvious the GF has a problem

Please let us know what he says 😂

This sounds like a controlling or abusive partner. Years ago, one of the girls in our group always ran off to take a phone call if her boyf rang, because he didn't like her being out with us.
Not ok. If he is a friend, you should discuss abuse and controlling relationships. It could be physical DV behind closed doors, or it could progress to that. I'd never dream of telling a male friend he had to hide from my husband!

He is behaving weirdly.
Given that he has new a new relationship, if I were his friend I would expect that he has less time for my regular lunch meet ups.
Are you suspicious that he is not giving his girlfriend more attention than you? Is he neglecting her? Is she feeling rightly jealous?

I would only proceed if the meeting was out in the open and if I witnessed friend treating his girlfriend first and foremost.

Good friends do extend invitations sometimes for old friends to bring their new girlfriend to a lunch date. Have you done that?