Caught my boyfriend on dating apps twice

[Tfsgirl]

Hi everyone,
I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year.
He is a decent hard working guy and has not had much time to visit me - I have visited him 5 times since January. In May, a friend found him on a dating app. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and said maybe we should have a conversation about being exclusive. He apologized and hid but did not delete his profile. We agreed to be exclusive- even though I thought we already were.
A few weeks ago after starting to feel things were a little ‘off’ - I found a new dating profile he had made that appears to have been active for a couple of months.
i said I couldn’t accept the deceit a second time and said we should end our relationship.
He then wrote that he loved me (he has never told me this before) that he wanted to spend more time with me and support me financially and that he only went online for validation.
after much deliberation - I decided to break up with him.
He then sent me another email saying he had never cheated and that I had probably met someone else, which is why I have broken up with him.
i know he is hurting and a part of me wants to believe that he wants to build a life with me and I am scared I will not meet anyone else (I am 50)
I wanted to break up with him but now that I have,I am worried that I have been too hasty.
Thanks for listening x

This sounds very like a relationship with someone in another( poorer) country.is this why you go to him, but not too often? Can he not come to you due to financial/ visa restrictions? Is there an age gap? Does he want to eventually live with you and promises he will make your life easier and financially support you?

Have you posted about this guy before @Tfsgirl? The situation sounds really familiar.

I like to bullet point these things because it's weird how in the posting, the OP often can't see the wood for the trees:

Long distance but you do all th ework to visit him.
He has been caught on dating sites, multiple times.
After you broke up with him for bein gon dating sites, he has accused YOU of cheating.

Then a few things that are implied by your OP but hard to tell what's really happening:

He wants to support you financially? Mmmn, this implies that until now you've been spending lots of money to maintain the relationship. Huge red flag (and no, he won't suddenly start taking on the financial burden).
He has not said he loves you... until you broke up with him. I assume he regularly only does nice things fo ryou when it's crunch time?
Why on earth do you think he's hurting? I doubt it. Far more likely e's missing sex/whatever financial support you provide/ etc etc

🚩

Acusing you of what he is guilty of is one of the classic narcissistic traits.
You've had a very lucky escape. Try and fill your free time doing things you really enjoy. A bf isn't the only thing that's important.
Sending love.

This pretty well sums it up.
you've only seen him 5 times since January, this isn’t a relationship at all

In a nutshell, you wondering if you would rather be with someone shit than be single?

You've seen him five times in ten months? Don't be daft OP. He isn't and never was your boyfriend. He's been seeing, or trying to see, other women the entire time. Why would you waste any more time on him? If your self esteem is this low, do yourself a favour and get some therapy. And ffs, block him on everything.

And come on, he isn't hurting. You barely know each other!