Thoughts on a threesome in marriage??

[Laalaalala]

Hi

my husband really wants a threesome, with another man for me.

I am really against it mainly because I believe when you are married you do not go near someone else. I also think it may eventually damage the marriage. He thinks it won’t and it is normal and a lot of people do it. Fine - each to their own I have no problem but I don’t think it is something I personally want to do.

he isn’t pressuring me or pushing me so it won’t happen. I guess I just need to go over my options to consider it which I said I would do. I am also very shy and traditional too so not sure whether that is hindering me to being open to the idea. Thoughts please?

I imagine this would stop the pleas dead.

He sounds a bit Dominique Pelicot to me. I’d be very wary of a husband who pressed me to have sex with other men against my wishes. Just tell him no, it’s not up for discussion.

You don’t need to intellectualise it. You’re uncomfortable with it, you say no thanks, end of!

There's a thing in psychological science called sociosexuality and basically all of us are on a line between restricted and unrestricted. I'm restricted, have only had one sexual partner in my life and the thought of casual sex gives me the ick. Unrestricted people are the opposite.

So your husband is wrong when he makes out that everyone has threesomes. For me with my restricted sociosexuality I'd be investigating starting divorce proceedings because the ick this would give me is marriage ending.

If he's truly not pressuring you and just suggested idly because he's been reading some dodgy websites then that's one thing. I would be very worried if he came on very strong about this and suddenly accepted your decision, because the Pelicot and the current gang rape case in Manchester suggests that some husbands are prepared to drug and pimp out their wives to satisfy their fetish.

Reading that made me shudder a bit 😭

Best answer!!

Best answer!!

Best answer!!

.

There are a few people into swinging, but most people aren't. Your husband should have stopped the first time you said no. Tell him if he forces you into this situation it's rape. No means no.

What's hindering you is that you don't want to do this and it is not in the least normal. Everyone doesn't do it, it's a kink or a fetish, neither of which has any place in happy, loving marriage. Your answer is no.