Social interaction is dying quickly.

[sophiealbert92]

I work at a restaurant. Every day I see hundreds of people. All of them, sitting at a table with their phones in their face. Groups of 2, 4, 6. All of them. No talking. No interaction. Mindless scrolling. Even the older folk I see do this which is BIZARRE. Children, watching videos on their parents iPad. No coloring menus. What happened to that? I deliver food to their tables and they can hardly move their cellphones out of the way for me to set their plates down.
I know people on here are probably well aware of this reality but it crushes me and I need to talk about it. Something has got to change. Quick. What a sad existence devoid of human connection.
And yes. Not everybody is like this. It truly makes me happy to see a table of 8 people enjoying each others company, laughing, telling stories etc. The way humans have done for millennia. Yes. There are parents who don’t shove the electronics in their kids face. There is the old couple enjoying their vacation, drinking a beer, sat across from each other, holding hands. It gives me hope. We’re not all zombies. We need this connection. It’s still there. But how long until it’s not?
To think I once knew what it was to be a human. Enjoying the company of my friends and family, and living my life in the moment. How I wish I could turn the clocks back.

You are not wrong.

Sat in a Dr's waiting room the other day and it was like a fast forward from 20 years ago straight into a sci-fi movie. Every person, young and old, with their head in a phone.

No eye contact, no thinking, no conversation.

You'd be heartened by is as a family, we still chat in a restaurant (mostly! There's the odd device that briefly appears)

It depends. If I’m out with a friend, or group of friends then we’ll be chatting. With my husband not so much, sometimes we will, other times we won’t. I suppose if you have young children, then for the sake of other diners you need to keep them occupied. I don’t really see the difference between watching videos or colouring. It doesn’t mean that the parents never communicate with their kids, they’ve probably come out for a meal as it saves cooking and they just want to relax.

I agree, OP... and I am usually the only one not sat staring at my phone when I go out for the occasional meal with family/friends! Sometimes it feels like I'm observing a bizarre sociological experiment. Mind you, I was bemused on seeing a line of people walking along, one behind the other, on their phones in a city (I am usually found in the countryside). It can only liken it to watching a line of ants pass by.

@AutumnAllTheWay Doctors waiting room isn’t a good example
It’s nice to have something to do when you’re usually waiting ages, isn’t it?

And you might be too stressed to concentrate on the book, although you don’t know people are reading on their phones

I’m relieved to hear that people are still going to restaurants, basically!

I don’t go a lot, but I don’t really see people on their phones that much mostly people go out for a meal to talk to who they’re with

I don’t really see the difference between watching videos or colouring.

Sadly, this is part of the problem.

Don’t take what I said totally out of context. Of course it makes a difference if you are with your children at home and instead of creativity or developing fine motor skills, they are just staring at a screen. However, in the context of the OP, we are looking at what is essentially an activity to keep the children occupied whilst their parents eat. In neither situation are parents and kids interacting at the table, but equally, neither is a true reflection of family life at home.

That's a bit of a jump from people being on their phones at a restaurant to social interaction dying!

I’m absolutely addicted to my phone (mid 50s) and I wouldn’t dream of looking at it when out with friends and only to look up things that we are discussing if I’m with my husbands and kids. If I’m on my own, it’s a given that it’s in my hands. I feel that social interaction is declining but that’s because most of my friends don’t want to go out. My kids (early 20s) have good social lives and are never on their phones when with friends.

Not something I've noticed to that kind of dramatic extent. I also agree that a doctor's waiting room is a bad example - I might well sit looking at my phone there, it's a good distraction. People might not feel up to talking if they're not well.

I don’t agree. Sometimes you see children watching videos but that’s ok if they’ve got headphones and have finished their meal. I’d rather that than see and hear shrieking kids!
when I meet friends we talk, may check phone if it rings/beeps but that’s it.
At the Drs I look at my phone. Or magazine if they have them. No-one interacts socially and never did.

I wouldn’t usually make conversation in a GP surgery tbh. I do sit on my phone playing word games whilst waiting for appointments but never in restaurants. I agree with you that it’s awful seeing families not talking to their children.

Sat in a Dr's waiting room the other day and it was like a fast forward from 20 years ago straight into a sci-fi movie. Every person, young and old, with their head in a phone.

It’s definitely a distraction in any kind of waiting room, if you’re there on your own. You don’t seem to get piles of magazines provided any more! Twenty years ago, most of the time people would be sitting there in complete silence anyway. Waiting rooms were never usually buzzing with conversation!

Can you imagine the conversation in a doctor’s waiting room ‘Do you come here often?’ 🤣 Seriously though, you have no idea what’s brought a person there and whether they are dreading hearing bad news or not. If you recognise someone you would acknowledge them, but most people would be very wary of any remarks beyond the weather.

Years gone by I would have sat there and happily leafed through a magazine that everyone else’s germy hands had been on. Thank goodness the experience of the pandemic has removed them and we all carry something in our handbags/pockets to keep us quietly entertained whilst waiting. I use the kindle app to read a few more pages of my book.

The youngster youngsters are much more playful and social with their phones

The take photos and make silly pictures of each other

I noticed this to the extreme when i was on the metro in China. Every single person in the carriage, whether they were alone, with a friend/partner, in a group just stared at their phone.

My teen dd even commented on it, because on a uk tube you might get 50% on a phone, 10% napping, 10% reading a book, 10% staring into space and a couple of families/friends talking. Whereas all our metro rides in china were just full of carriages of everyone staring at their screens. It felt weird.

The move towards bank payments for benefits had a significant effect on the communities in the UK.
It removed an opportunity to queue together and for PO staff to check in on those people who came in.

We usually take UNO for DC so we can play a game when waiting for a meal, (very occasionally the phone does come out though). I would never look at my phone if I was at a meal with people, whats the point if you aren’t talking to each other.

I am sorry you're seeing this but it really doesn't reflect what I see when I am out and about. Children on devices sometimes, sure. That's a thing. But then, a lot of restaurants are a bit stingy with the colouring/pencils etc these days too. DD was entertaining her younger cousins while out and they'd done the entire colouring in option in about 5 minutes and only had 3 colours to choose from!

As for the doctor's office - that was never a place to chat. We all used to leaf through old magazines, cursing when you were reading an article only for it to be cut off because someone had torn out the recipe on the other side or whatever.

Ditto on tubes/trains? The benefit of phones is that at least now we don't have to make space for the ridiculous men who not only spread their legs, but used to e njoy spreading their newspapers too. No one was ever just sitting chatting on the tube. It's too noisy for a start.

As someone who has spent most of my life as a single I have another perspective, When I first began going alone to places like cafes, pubs and restaurants I often felt awkward, as though I was expected to be part of a couple. I would make like i was waiting for someone, Almost feeling guilty. I always had a book or a magazine with me to provide an occupation. An excuse for being alone. The good thing about these devices is that it is something you can slip into your pocket and pull out when you need it. It gives you something to do in public.

The days when I felt uncomfortable at being alone in public places are long gone. However there are many people less resilient and confident than me I who would not feel content to simply sit and people watch.

It's really noticeable OP and I agree it's worrying.

Ime boomers are the worst for it these days - they didn't grow up with the technology and they can't regulate themselves around it.

Had lunch out with a friend today
Lots of cheerful people chatting
Also chatting in the pub garden

I agree with that. I always have a book or my phone out if I’m eating alone.

But what’s the point of going out with friends if you’re all staring at your phones? I went for dinner with a couple of friends last week & we had our phones out to look at each other’s holiday & cat photos. That was it.

I'm just thinking of families I've seen where children are staring at a screen propped up in front of them on the table. There has been absolutely no interaction between the adults or children the whole time.

I've seen children grizzle when the screen has accidentally closed and an adult has leant over and opened it up again without making any connection with the child at all.

The last time my partner and I went for dinner we saw this happen and in the 45 mins that we were there at the same time, no one spoke to the toddler who was watching the screen. No one spoke to her when her food was put in front of her, or when they lifted her out of the high chair and put her into her buggy and no one spoke to her when they strapped her in. They just put the tablet on the tray in front of her and pushed her through the pub to the exit.

She made no attempt to connect or communicate with them either. I just don't believe that that it looked any different at home.

Thats probably the worst I've seen but not the only example.

There was a period of a week recently when I was without a phone. It is absolutely incredible when you don’t have a phone to look down at yourself, and you look around you and everyone is looking down. It’s a phenomenal change in the world. So few people looking around or engaging with the real world.

I have family members who attend gatherings and are on their phones the entire time. They don’t ask anyone about themselves, they don’t engage in proper conversation. I think it’s really sad.

My narcissist ex used to accuse me of cheating because I was reading on my phone.....and i genuinely was! Never said a word if it was a book though!