Financial fairness for sahm

[whoopdeenotdo]

Hi I have a question

I’ve been with my husband for 25 years , married for 6 .
When we met I was a house owner and he was renting . He moved into my house then we bought a house together . I put my house as a buy to let and I earn a monthly income of £500 monthly .
when we had children I returned to work 28 hours a week and we’d put everything into a shared account . I earnt more than him , all extra , not a lot tbh got put into savings .
In 2018 he got a really good position and I left work so he could work away , build his business and we had a second child .
We moved into a bigger house and renovated it . He pays for everything that’s joint and has plenty left for a holiday away with friends once a year and if I want to go away he would pay . He pays for everything and I use my money from rented house for what I class as my personal spends , meals with friends, haircut appointments etc.

when I gave up work we talked about me having a small amount to add to my pension . This has never happened . I’ve not been working for 8 years and my retirement age is coming up . Am I being unreasonable to ask my husband for an allowance and top up for my pension . He acknowledges my being at home a has given him the opportunity to build his career and I acknowledge he works hard and has given us a good life that my wage wouldn’t have matched . I was a senior practitioner in the NHS so not on minimum wage . I don’t have savings because I use leftover to keep as repairs for rented house etc

You say you talked about it when you gave up work, I think that would have been the time to address it. Does he remember the conversation, have you discussed this with him yet? I don't think you're being unreasonable to resurect the conversation, why do you feel so uncomfortable about raising the subject.
Maybe you could say that your worried about your pension, so will be topping it up with 50% of your rental income going forward and putting the other 50% in a maintanance pot for the property so could he bump up the joint account for you to have some personal spends until you manage to get a job. I know it's a roundabout way of asking him to top up your pension, but it looks more like your taking ownership of it instead.