How do I move on after my best friend changed their mind?

[wafflesareyum]

My best friend is non-binary, and I have a huge crush on them. They were dating a guy a couple months ago, but they broke up. After that, they told me that they liked me. I told them that I had liked them for more than a year. They said that they want to date me but their parents told them that they have to wait until the end of the first quarter. I've waited for them all this time. But just a couple days ago, they emailed me and told me that they still like their ex. They said that they still love me as a best friend but nothing more than that. I told them that I will always love them as a best friend, and it's totally okay and I don't blame them. The thing is, I still really like them. Like, REALLY like them. I don't know what to do. Please help.

That really sucks, I’m sorry. ❤️ You don’t have to force yourself to stop liking them right away. Give yourself some space if you need it, focus on yourself, and let time do its thing. It’s okay to still love them, but don’t put your life on hold waiting for them to change their mind.

How is it not appropriate for me to ask for advice on a forum for advice?

Pan-sexual means the like people of both sexes and bi-sexual means they like people of both sexes.

Are you bisexual or lesbian out of interest?

I am many things. I identify as a lesbian because I don't want to have to explain what other things I am.

we are all many things. But in this context, You would be a lesbian if you want to have sex with women and not men, there’s not really much else to explain.

So BFF is dating a guy, does she have any history of lesbian relationships or would you have been her first?

Ummm the guy is their ex, and they are saying that they like him again.

Yes and has she had lesbian relationships before?

No I don't think so

I promise you that if you walk away from this confusion person you will REALLY like someone else. Don't waste your time on someone already taking the piss.

Oh god it’s all so tiresome. Drama drama drama look at me look at me!!

Pansexual/bisexual. The “sex” in those two
words are a clue. There are two sexes.

The fact your friend is “non binary” is the first red flag that he/she (two choices there, remember - even in the incredibly unlikely event of an intersex condition the choices are male or female) is too tedious for words and will be far too self obsessed to make a good partner prospect.

Because you appear to be a child and this is an adults' forum. Children really shouldn't be asking adult strangers about their love lives. It puts you at risk and it puts the adults in the difficult position of potentially saying something to you that would be appropriate for two adults to discuss but not for an adult to discuss with a child.

This is Mumsnet. It's not like Reddit.

That has nothing to do with my age.

Yes it does, because advice that was appropriate for a 35-year-old wouldn't be appropriate for a teenager.

You're talking about someone who is young enough that their dating life is dictated by their parents and their school grades, so unless you're a grown woman preying on a teenager, you are presumably the same age as your friend.

well if she hasn’t had a lesbian relationship before then she doesn’t actually know that she’s bisexual.

maybe she has a feeling she might be but clearly hasn’t tried it out yet. And clearly at the moment is choosing a man/boy over a girl/woman.

if you value your friendship, don’t be the first female that she explores her sexuality with because it will end in tears for you.

You need to move on and accept that she doesn’t like you in that way, and may not like girls/ women in that way at all.

Ignore all this meanness OP. That is a shame that you waited and hoped and now your friend is saying something different. It's always hard to have feelings that arent reciprocated. You can either keep with them and ignore your feelings/hope the feelings pass, or put a bit of distance in your friendship to let the romantic feelings fade. Sadly, feelings pretty much spell the end of a friendship if it is one-sided. It feels like crap I know-- try to keep yourself distracted so you aren't stewing over it and feeling worse. You might meet someone else soon anyway, then problem solved!

Yeah, Reddit is much more kind and compassionate.