Ive recently moved in with bf and was invited to meet one of his oldest friends and their family. My bf has known this guy for around 40 years. He is also close to his 4 children who are now aged 20 to 24, and has been all their lives. He didn't want me to meet his friend for a long time but eventually said it was because he can be racist at times and he didn't want me hearing that as he knew I'd be upset by it.
We were invited around for a bbq with the family and the wife and grown up children were welcoming and friendly. However my bfs mate only spoke to me once, by asking what I did for a living. Before I answered in front of everyone he suggested I was a stripper?!? Then quickly followed it up with oh no you cant be as you work from home. He didn't laugh or even smile. I was stunned, but then quickly told him what I actually do and he said nothing further. No one else said anything. Since this he has driven past me locally and ignored me. I met him once in the supermarket with my bf before the bbq and I said hello, he didn't reply just kept talking to bf.
At the time of the bbq I felt annoyed but as time has gone on, this was a few weeks ago, im livid about it, how degrading it was. Im 52 years old and have a well paid senior management professional job that I have nearly 30 years experience in.
My bf has now been invited to spend an evening at this friends whilst his wife is away and said he is going. He isn't happy with what his friend said to me but doesn't know what to do about it.
Half of me doesn't want to make a big deal of it in case there is a fallout and loads of drama, but I have told bf im very uncomfortable with him remaining close to this friend after the degrading comments. Half of me wants him to never see him again or at least address it with him so he knows it is unacceptable.
Any ideas on how to deal with this rubbish?