Would moving in with a new partner after divorce be too soon?

[Anon316]

Hi everyone, I’d really love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

I’m 35 and was with my ex-husband for 15 years. We were going through fertility treatment (due to issues on my side) when I discovered that he was having an affair with a work colleague. He left me for her last year.
I’m now unexpectedly 8 months into a new relationship, and I’m genuinely very happy. It wasn’t something I ever expected to happen so soon, but it feels healthy and very different from what I had before.

At the moment, I’m still living in the marital home while everything is being sorted through solicitors. The house will ultimately have to be sold, as I won’t be able to afford the mortgage on my own. The housing market is quite slow here, though, so it could be some time before that actually happens.
It’s made me start thinking about what happens next. I have no idea where I’ll live when the house sells, and I’m wondering whether, by that point, it would still be considered “too soon” to suggest moving in with my new partner.

For those of you who met someone after separation/divorce and went on to have a serious relationship, how did you approach things? Did you find that you were more intentional about relationships the second time around? Did you worry about moving too quickly, or did you just know when something felt right?

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences — especially from anyone who has been in a similar position. ❤️

I met someone six months after I moved out. We did move in together after 8 months but rented with a six month break so if it didn’t work we could move on etc. we bought together a couple of years later.

we have been happy - it felt so different to my marriage and I was 36 when my marriage ended that I didn’t really want to wait around

Hi, yes I’ve been living independently for the past 9 months and will be doing so until this house sells x

Thank you so much for sharing. I am 35 and honestly felt like my life was over when the marriage ended. I feel like I’m going to be too old for having a family etc now 😔

Not really as he had tried to end his life before we met (i had too as i had just got out of an 8 year abusive relationship and couldn't cope) when we did meet we just made each other happy and I think his family and friends saw that. We saved eachother, so like said, not perfect timing but perfect x

You've spent less than a year living independently since hitting adulthood. You've only known this guy 8 months and the first relationship after a long marriage can be intense but you're still off balance from the end of a long relationship and dealing with all the feelings that leaves behind. Knowing someone through friends is very different than knowing them as a romantic partner.

You're going to need to get used to operating independently outside of being part of a couple and moving in so quickly avoids that unless this relationship ends too. You also leave yourself vulnerable if you move into his place. You need housing, not him.

Just be sure to keep your career and protect yourself financially if you do. Nobody else is going to do that for you.

Personally I wouldn't as I would prefer to see how the relationship progresses. Xx