I'm in my late forties, recently met a man in his mid fifties, been dating six months give or take a few weeks now.
I've noticed a few things, not sure if they're red flags as such, but stuff that pisses me off. I'm kind of sitting back and observing now as it were. I know us humans are always on our best behaviour at the start of dating and people take time to reveal themselves.
Right from the start with him, though, I noticed he very often just doesn't stop talking. He barely pauses for breath, when he does, and another person tries to speak, he just keeps going. I notice he does it with his adult children as well, so it's not just me. I thought it was nerves at first, but it isn't. He also seems to manage to make every single conversation about him.
A couple of examples. Over the weekend I was talking about renovation work that I'm planning for my house, which needs seriously updating from the 70s. He managed to turn the conversation onto his daughter, who is dating a man with a lot of money who owns a Grade I listed property, which from the sounds of things, is a bit of a pile and needs a whole load of specialised work doing to it. He mentions this a lot, it seems to make him feel good to know his daughter is dating a man with money and prospects, but we were talking about my house, not him, or her, or her boyfriend. I tried to ease back into my plans for the back garden, but off he went again, repeating a story I have heard at least 5 or 6 times now.
On Friday, my mother and I both felt as if we were coming down with something and I texted him to say I wouldn't be meeting with him as we both felt off colour. On Saturday, when I rang him, he banged on about himself for pretty much one hour before asking how my mother was doing. When I said we were both feeling much better there was just silence and then he changed the subject. I don't think he had even read my text that we were ill.
When I had flu earlier in the year, I was ill for two weeks and not once did he ask me if I needed any groceries dropping off.
I saw him earlier today and he did help me out with something, he said he owed me a few favours after I had helped him out, but then immediately afterwards expected a shoulder rub when I was exhausted from lifting furniture. We had a couple of beers together and some dinner and then I got the last bus home. He hasn't even bothered to ask me if I have got in safely. I live in a very safe area, but that pisses me off, it feels like a total lack of care. I could see he was online on Whatsapp for ages after I got back in ..... not to sound like a teenager here.... but he could have just checked in on me.
Feeling as if I'm just a convenience to him in some ways. Like someone to talk at, to get shoulder rubs from and to keep him company when he feels lonely.