Would you mind being expected to take the wall side of the bed?

[Newstartplease24]

If your partner (don’t live together but visit each others’ houses) set up his double bed with one side along a wall, in a big room where it didn’t need to be - and had recently been moved to that position - AND assumed that you would take the wall side - how would you feel?

I didn’t like it but I don’t know whether that’s me being fussy or not. I often nees the loo at tonight and l get sneezy and need tissues and anti histamines. He hates nose blowing in bed and tbf I don’t like being disturbed either so I would normally sneak out quietly to medicate and nose blow in the bathroom.

am I being unreasonable? He gave me the outside when I said I didn’t love it, but I think he found me fussy.

we’re in our 50s btw and I’ve done my spare share in my youth of sleeping (or not sleeping) in sub optimal (or grim) situations . We both have big jobs and we both like to sleep properly

If we stay somewhere and the bed is against the wall I would take it and not give it much thought if it was 'my' side of the bed. I tend to sleep on the side furthest away from the door so the axe murderer will get the old man 1st. If it's a long term thing then I'd have a conversation about moving the bed.

I wouldn't want to be with anyone in my 50s who had a bed with a "wall side". But no, I wouldn't like it as I always need to get up for a wee.

I’d hate that. I have a bunch of stuff on my bedside table I want to hand and I’d be annoyed at his lack of interest in your comfort. Neither of us would be as inconsiderate of the other, it’s mean. We don’t have dedicated sides of the bed, if we’re away from home I’m usually nearest the door for night wandering kids and when we had one on them on a floor bed I was nearest that. So that’s less of a factor. But the general picking what he wants and sod what you want would piss me off.

I have my bed like this and love it, when my GF comes over she has the non wall side and I take the wall side

We have preferred sides, so I can see a situation where he'd assume I'd take my normal side and that happened to be the one against the wall.

We have stayed in places like this occasionally (student halls for cheap accomodation for one night in an expensive city). It's not great but fine for one night if it's saving £££. I'd climb out of the end if I needed to rather than over him, as I'd expect him to if he was by the wall.

I don't know why any adult expecting regular company would set their bed up like that though.

Just sleep on the other side. He can be by the wall. "You first darling 😘 ".

If it's "fussy" for you not to want to, it's also "fussy" for him not to want to.

You're his guest, he needs to make you comfortable.

We stayed in a hotel with the bed against the wall recently, and I felt so claustrophobic on the wall side I literally couldn't fall asleep.

Unless he loves sleeping against the wall (which he clearly doesn't) it's an odd set up when there's space to move it.

Absolutely not

He hates nose blowing in bed and tbf I don’t like being disturbed either so I would normally sneak out quietly to medicate and nose blow in the bathroom.

That’s another thing. I want a wind down and a comfortable going to bed, wirh my stuff within reach; what I get is being expected to fall into bed while completely exhausted

Don't you have bigger problems than where the bed is? You're not allowed to blow your nose at night? And you can't go to bed when you choose?

I don't follow my usual bedtime routine when DP is staying with me, but that's only at weekends and I choose not to for quality time with him. If you're together on a work night of course you should get the rest you want.

I would not sleep there at all.

In someone else’s house, I’d sleep in whatever spot they didn’t normally sleep in. It would never occur to me to make someone move just because I was sleeping over. But you don’t have to sleep over if you don’t want to.

When I married many years ago we shared my single bed and I had the wall side, only for a few weeks though.

Now I have my own double bed and a bedside chest of drawers for a lamp, a clock, a drink and the phone. I've stuck small shelves on the side to hold various medications, my codeword book, pen, specks and tissues.

YANBU. I wouldn't want to sleep against a wall if it were avoidable. I would find it too claustrophobic.

I dont even book holiday accommodation if I see that the bed is up against a wall. I dont even understand how people get in and out of the bed.

No thank you.