Cancel the family holiday?

[NieveT]

My marriage is in a mess and I am debating on cancelling our eurocamp trip, we are supposed to be going on the 22nd August.
Currently we are not speaking and don't like to be in the same room as each other. I just suggested cancelling to him and was met with well thats not fair on the children. I agree they will be disappointed but how will anyone enjoy it with this atmosphere?! We cannot see each others point of view. He won't try and resolve anything so what would you do? Cancel the trip?

I wouldn’t cancel but I’d say only one of you should go

What’s important is the children. They should be coming first.

Can’t you agree to be civil for this last family holiday for their sake?

This.

OP, your DC are expecting to go on holiday - so take them. Pretend your DH is a stranger, and be polite to him accordingly. Every time you want to make an acerbic remark or throw something at him, think about how you are making memories for your DC, and that you want them to be good memories. Maybe see if you can work out some kind of truce with DH before you go - you both owe it to your DC to make the holiday nice for them. Maybe remind yourselves that you’re the adults.

Both of you suck it up, forget about whatever it is you can't agree on talk about other things and have your holiday. If you break up afterwards so be it. Pretend you are just acquaintances going on holiday with the kids be civil to each other like you would be to anyone else, you might even have fun if you stop the confrontation.

I would suck it up and try to be civil for the sake of the children, at home AND on holiday.

Few activities and pool, surely you can both manage to offer a decent holiday to your children?

This. Your children come first. Go on holiday, be civil, then come back and seek couples counselling or a divorce before next year’s holiday.

How old are the children?

Can the two of you have a talk and agree to be civil for the holiday? If not, one of you should go.

You also need to stop the silent treatment at home. You’re both adults- surely you can be civil for the children?

Either take the kids without DH, or agree to be civil for the trip.
It's not fair for the kids to miss out

Only one of you should go

How old are the DC? I am inclined to say just one of you goes.

Go by yourself.

With kids- haha 😝 too

Thank you I know thats the sensible thing to do.. try to be adult and civil. His reaction to me today though was just awful, he makes me anxious. I try to discuss things and I am met with abuse. I am worried if we went away the kids 3,8 &11 would remember all the bad things. For context this argument has stemmed from him just wanting to play his computer game every minute of the day.. he doesn't help with house chores.. he will cook but leaves the mess and kid activities he doesn't want to do he does it because I have asked. I have put up with this behaviour for years which is on and off depending on his mood but I have hit breaking point. If he left and didn't return I would feel relief.

Can you take the children yourself and leave him at home?

I do agree - one travels with the kids and the other stays at home

I am not sure I can do the whole drive myself. The idea was to share the journey and switch who drives after the ferry.
This is why I am tempted to cancel and just go somewhere else.

In that case I would brace yourself for the drive or cancel and book a last minute package holiday if able.

As the child of parents whose relationship sounds similar to yours I’d say only one of you goes, or you cancel.

Please don’t kid yourself that your children are blissfully ignorant of what’s going on. They’re not.

Cance and rebook something for just you and DC.

It will be a waste of money .
cancel and go somewhere else with the kids.

You take them by yourself but stagger the journey there. Take lots of breaks to stretch legs, have a drink, etc. Tell him to use the time you’re away to move out.